Not enough people care that there is an actor named Rider Strong and he has never done porn.

Humans, they just keep right on breeding.

You say women of ill repute like it's a bad thing.

There can be a lot of nobility in vulgarity, and vice versa.

Wake us when we as a society have evolved past talking baby commercials.

It's gonna be all these apocalypse jokes that finally do us in.

Stop documenting the moment and just experience it, y'all.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has at least two emotions.

Damn it feels good to be a jackass.

Snooki is worth an estimated $4 million. Happy Labor Day!

Even Reese Witherspoon's arrest is predictable and full of rehashed dialogue.

Seeking a Burrito for the End of the Night

Hey there, bottom of the shot glass. How ya been?

To google or not to google Gerardo, that is the question.

"Take it down a crotch."

We should start hating other people.

That beret makes you look totes artistical.

The world is such a messed up place. Except for cheese fries.

Tonight's drink: 1 part vodka, 2 parts vodka, splash of vodka

It's only Tuesday and we've already filled our bitch quota for the week. Gonna relax poolside with sangria and Doritos.