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@donttrythis Actually, if you try to rub two similar polar-bears together they will repell off one another. #factsthatareNOTtrue
Just now, while alone in my apartment, I said to my cat, "Meow do you do, madam!" Nobody heard but, still, the angels wept.
Amy Winehouse & Norway: Let's all be real goddam careful how we throw about the word "tragedy" today.
RT @jeffjarvis "Sell naming rights to hurricanes."/ Result: GOP buys Irene, renames it Obama. "Obama" causes 10bn in damage to NY.
.@mittromney I haven't had much disappointment. I'm doing better than I was 4 years ago. Life is good.
That point about Rush Limbaugh having 4 wives and 0 kids and him being either impotent or using contraception, that's pretty strong.
I would start smoking again if it meant I could have more photos of me wearing a pea-coat, smoking.
Watching dorky Jewish kid hit on tall, white, shiksa with motorcycle helmet. "You are just full of mischief, aren't you. I mean, my word."
In a shitty email, fill out the TO section last. You can't accidentally send a horrible message until you've put in an address. #moderntip
The cure to cancer was written on a piece of paper which was rolled into a joint and smoked. #420no #weedkills
@victoriajasher Dude, got it. Hire a mariachi band to follow him around all day. Whatever it costs, it's worth it.
It's gonna be so rad for those three guys who are into Dubstep when aliens finally arrive and it's the only language they speak.
@bradfordfields @robdelaney Rob Delaney, the comedian, may have been utilizing humor, Bradford.
"Guestimate," is a fantastic indicator that you don't know how thinking works yet.
Filmmaker of sorts.
