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you ever get drunk and read your own shit for hours when you should be writing? pssh. not me. you're a douchebag.
I'm still a little mad at Jessica Chastain because my ex boyfriend from 3 years ago really wants to fuck her.
I love my twitter friends like they're real people. which they are. and sometimes, they show up in my dreams.
you have to sort of bury yourself deep down inside the story, so they're still paying attention to you but they don't know it.
good thing I never got around to signing up for goodreads.
I mean, I've had better days.
I need to borrow $100 so I can take a couple days off work, drive to montana and murder my ex boyfriend. please retweet.
everybody knows that the scariest thing in the world is to walk into a room and find yourself already there waiting for you.
Sometimes I look down at the baby elephant tattooed on my shoulder and think, "hello, baby elephant. You're my best and only friend."
Excuse me while I take 10 years to unpack your elegant prose. Dick. Authors are dicks.
"I love that you fuck shit up and ruin your life for your work" -The greatest thing anyone has ever said to me. and it's so true!
Narrative wants me to donate to their magazine when they already charge $20 to submit to them? That's a good one.
whenever I go to the doctor, I say that I don't smoke cigarettes, which is weird, cuz, I mean, I pretty much do.
my goal for tomorrow is to say something funny enough to be retweeted so I don't have to keep looking at the last dumb RT in my thing.
Seriously, why didn't Juno use a condom? I know it was like 5 years ago but it still bothers me. She was supposed to be all smart and shit.
sweet writing gig you guys http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/wrg/3808351788.html … #craigslist
pro tip for next year: don't just wish every woman you see a 'happy mother's day.' I'm nobody's mother, get it straight.
I'm in Montana. Guess what, it's awesome.
storyteller, fake journalist, film reviewer for hire. I fucking love you, let's be friends.