@Monimus' (Moe) most faved Tweets...
All I have to do before I finish this project is bargaining, depression, acceptance, and the project.
When muslim women knock on my door, I talk to them through the mail slot. Let's see how they like it.
I locked my keys in my car next to an abortion clinic. I told them I made a mistake, but they still wouldn't give me a hanger.
General rule-of-thumb for the people you meet on twitter:
Emotionally stable. Sexy. Single.
Pick two.
Emotionally stable. Sexy. Single.
Pick two.
Stop thinking that crazy people will stab you with a knife. If they were really nuts, they'd try and stab you with a hat.
I just saw a teenage couple throw their son in the air and catch him. I love it when people catch their mistakes.
If I was stranded on a deserted island, I'd make a girl out of leaves and sticks. She'd probably just want to be friends though.
"Instead of child-proofing my apartment I drew kittens on everything sharp."
"Um. Kids aren't scared of kittens."
"They will be."
"Um. Kids aren't scared of kittens."
"They will be."
I just favrd my girlfriend. And by favrd I mean I led her on, then dumped her for something about menus, games, and emotional up-fuckedness.
I hate how people label others as 'obese' or 'morbidly obese.' Don't you think they have enough on their plate already?
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar