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@Morros' (Morgan ) most faved Tweets...
Morros
Hitting the gym. Lying! Hitting this bong. Kidding!

It's the children. I'm hitting the children.
@Morros
Morros
Cat threw up, then shit in the litter box. If he steals my girlfriend, it will be the college roommate hat trick.
@Morros
Morros
Yeah, long story short, turns out I don't really know CPR.
@Morros
Morros
Girlfriend had oral surgery, quits smoking, and is now PMSing. The devil is not in the details. She's right fucking here.
@Morros
Morros
Back in my day, kids would just fall down a well or something.
@Morros
Morros
Does this crippling shyness make me look...
Look away!
@Morros
Morros
Halloween tip: If you're wearing a Charlie Chaplin costume, don't forget the hat and cane. Otherwise you're Hitler.
@Morros
Morros
Having kittens is great. When do my nipples stop hurting?
@Morros
Morros
Some people will never listen no matter how hard you kill them.
@Morros
Morros
Switching facebook status from "it's complicated" to "lone gunman".
@Morros
Morros
Alone at work. Sad trombone. Alone at home. Sad trombone. This one man band sucks.
@Morros
Morros
Checking my portfolio. Trapper Keepers up $1.30. Nice.
@Morros
Morros
Dude. That's not a man purse. That's a straight up purse purse.
@Morros
Morros
Girlfriend is having a movie night with girlfriends. I'm having cocaine night with this hooker.
Kidding! There is no cocaine here.
@Morros
Morros
A man, a plan, a canal, a hostage note, some duct tape. What the fuck is a palindrome?
@Morros
Morros
This monologue needs more inner.
@Morros
Morros
I would like to apologize for doing the canadian apology joke.
@Morros
Morros
Pro tip: If you paint a painting, avoid writing a poem on the back. This just lets people know you suck in two disciplines.
@Morros
Morros
If your American Indian name was Dances With Ninjas, it would be pretty hard to prove it.
@Morros
Morros
Twittering out this figure thing.
@Morros
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