LOL again, this FBI agent did not have to climb this fence #manhunt  https://vine.co/v/bU6YvrOvnvx 

Without Daddy issues twitter would be Facebook.

I almost always mean what I say never of the time

Has anyone ever tried throwing holy water on Nancy Grace just to see what would happen?

"there's left over bacon, I'm just gonna trash it" -said by no one, ever.

Funny how none of you even existed before I started following you

Target is a fully functional Milf factory.

I was going to make a new pot of coffee but I think I'll just reheat the old coffee and call it "coffee4s"

I just saw MY shadow......that means six more years of disappointment right?

The Jonas Brothers #lessexcitingbandnames

I need to quit being productive, this day isn't going to go to waste all by itself.

It's the Internet...where strangers become friends and friends become strangers.

There's no such thing as too many croutons in a salad

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, I know you all are getting over the REM news, but Wreckx n Effect won't be touring anymore either.

I really should turn my car into a recording studio. I sound awesome.

Yay six more weeks of 60 degree winter!!

The recommended serving size on packages of bacon should say: All of it

You think it's bad now? Just wait until twitter is directly linked to our brains.

The secret to life is sleeping as much as possible

I'm glad mechanical bulls aren't anatomically correct