Just about to have my second coffee and then WOW! Thanks @mothpete for the TOtD! I'm glad we're in agreement about our collective downfall.

I'm so old I remember when "unfollow" wasn't a word.

That fart was the gurgling sound of one final bloody gasp for air as a Cambodian farmer succumbs to sharp force trauma to his abdomen.

(minimum obligatory tweet so people don't unfollow you)

Some mornings I just wake up so excited about the possibility of space travel.

my dear sweet beautiful step grandmother i will always remember your sparklin light blue eyes when you laughed your dignified demure laugh<3

My entire afternoon has consisted of watching MLK speeches and booing at them. Now I'm tired.

Imagine this: I dance like your Uncle.

My favourite line: "do you see the fucking irony here you useless cunt?"

Happiness is man's greatest aim in life. Tranquility and rationality are the cornerstones of happiness. Epicurus

The brain, an inimitable thought machine, is sufficiently plastic that one can change its physiology by mindfulness.

If you could make the hurt stop?

Why don't you?

The truest expression of a people is in its dances and its music.

Bodies never lie.

If you think I look like I give a fuck then you need to get yourself to an optometrist, stat.

Someone is waiting for Honey Boo Boo to turn 18. :(

There's nothing more to do than sit back and watch history repeat itself

Hey I'm just gonna RT, go to jail and nap out. Kisses.

80 episodes of Star Trek...

Then I will watch all of TNG...

Then everything else Star Trek related because nostalgia.

Flip it back and forth..

~ men when they get out of the shower.

Somtimes when I need a pick me up I wear my tuxedo to walmart and talk condescendingly to people in a British accent.