@MrBigFists' (Jonathan) recently faved Tweets...
Turns out my chocolate rabbit's foot isn't so lucky. It just melted all over my pants. Oh. My mistake. That's just dog crap... Still lucky.
True story. When I first received an LOL in an email, I thought it stood for "Lots of luck". To this day, that still makes more sense to me.
LOL is the new awkward laugh that indicates something was intended to be funny... LOL.
@kellyoxford "I've had it to here!" best neck tattoo.
@MrBigFists in reply to kellyoxford
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bigTlittleODDrongillmorebedheadblondeRoadfilmBlondHousewifeSexyInsomniacDuncanOK50FarrFetchedbg_wv_daveCaylaB7miketh57phwharris
Pardon my French but I burnt your toast.
Your breasts are so adorable. They're like two tiny packaging bubbles. I just want to pop them. #putdownpickuplines
I usually date younger women but with your adult onset acne you look young enough. #putdownpickuplines
It's no wonder your smile stole my heart because your teeth are crooked. #putdownpickuplines.
DAMN GIRL! I don't know what's hotter, your buns or your rolls. #putdownpickuplines.
I sure would like to be the Muffin Man to your muffin top. #putdownpickuplines.
The best approach to picking up women is to chip away at their self esteem by putting them down 1st. Here are some lines the guys can use.
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brokenlifebedheadblondenotmickhiretammyphinneyblondiecurls
You would think with how often she's posed the question, I would have a clue of what exactly "The problem with me" is.
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goldengateblondpenblethzombotJezebelTheGreatA_N_G_E_L_I_N_ERickster_01AuntiAntiMrsNutcase215vikoniBlondHousewifebestgirlbettyjuicymorselAristotlesGirloinkflapItsOkBlameMe89VIEW
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You may be right dear but before I can definitively say that strip clubs are dens of debauchery, I'll have to do some extensive research.
@abigvictory Did you have the dream where undergarments are not judged by the color of their fabric but by the contents of their cups?
@MrBigFists in reply to abigvictory
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BAAATTSkellan_standleySexyInsomniacCynichanan
And a Happy Birthday to @emilybrianna. The only avatar that bites her way to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
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emilybriannaGreeblemonkey
Have fun celebrating your Birthday in the desert @thebenbrooks of Arabia. Try not to dry hump a camel this time.
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ImAwake2FarrFetchedDuncanOK50beingtheoMad_WhiteRapper
I forgot to put on deodorant today but not to worry, if this urinal cake is good enough for the bathroom then it's good enough for me.
One final #FF to the man who introduced me to many of you and who's humor far eclipses my own. Do yourself a favor and follow @plaid_lemur.
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BAAATTSMrsNutcase215phwharrisFarrFetchedDuncanOK50CaylaB7beingtheo
I bet Jesus scoffs at people walking in CROSSwalks because they're bearing nothing but brief cases and grocery bags.
I always think of trail mix when I read @trelvix's name, which isn't far off because I'm convinced the man is nuts. A great follow. #FF
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stupendu
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