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A girl with pink hair just helped me at Walmart & I was like “I know about your Tumblr” & all the colour just drained from of her face.
It’s weird that pirates would go from shore to shore looking for treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making.
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!
WE GOT FUN AND GAMES!
LIKE FUCKING JUNGLE CHESS AND JUNGLE MONOPOLY!
My mom said I could join your gang.
I should become a drug dealer & when people ask for coke I'll say, "Is pepsi okay?"
I'd probably get stabbed, but I think it'd be worth it.
How to get upstairs in 10 easy steps!
First I park my car, then I park your car, then I park his car, then I park her car, then I park their car.
I’m a valet attendant.
Just realized I'm like Batman, except poor and not cool.
Officer, I know I was speeding but technically you were too, so I’m gonna have to arrest you, please step out of the vehicle.
THIS IS A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT YOUR CRUSH SHOWERS NAKED
Intro: Yo, dis my paper.
Body Paragraphs: *Written beautifully along with correct spelling and grammar"
Conclusion: Dats it lol bye!
If you ever see stuff written on a chalkboard, be careful because it is probably a crime scene where a bunch of words died.
Every once in a while I think about Spiderman 3 and get really uncomfortable.
No one ever asks what The D wants.
Today my friend wore his snapback & I was like damn cuz I didn’t wear mine & we could’ve been VERY Yolo but instead we were only sorta Yolo.
Some people have some weird fetishes, which is fine. Then they take photos of them, which is not.
My last word will probably be either “Whoops” or “Shit”
But can the Xbox One’s Kinect Camera see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Only drop acid if you can neutralize it by dropping the base
So this is where I put my obnoxious biography and act all pretentious to impress the people that are reading this? It is? Ok.