ONE MORE TIME #RIP

Pitbull made a remix to Get Lucky why

Brunch is so...brunchy. Hook Mom up with a free meal @hooters on Mother's Day. (1 free entree per mom with drink purchase. Dine in only.)

"hello 911?"

"yea"

"she didnt choose charmander"

*door gets busted in*

(•_•)
<) )╯huge
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> frickin
/ \

(•_•)
<( .) .)> titys
/ \

Sit down. Drank.
Stand up. Drank.
Fade it. Drank.
Push it. Drank.
Twist it. Drank.
Bop it. Drank. Bop it.

All jokes aside, Anne Frank would probably be just as psyched about the new Daft Punk album as the rest of us.

Any more questions on the topic of Justin Bieber being a dumbass?

Son, your mom and I have been fighting. She won. She has the championship belt now. If you want it, you'll have to challenge her live on RAW

Today on my Power Point presentation *clicks clicker* SLIDE TO THE LEFT
*clicks* SLIDE TO THE RIGHT
*clicks* CRISS CROSS
*clicks* EVERYBOD

*calls mom*
"Ma I made 3 friends on twitter today"
*long pause*
"Mom?"
*mom stares at 3 fake twitter accounts she made, fights tears*
"Mom?"

Now with my maybelline line of beauty care products, I don't just hide age, defy age! *screams at a calendar for an hour*

april fools! you're actually the only person in the world who farts. everyone else was just pretending so you wouldn't be embarrassed

Game of Thrones season premiere and Walking Dead finale ty Zombie Jesus

EVERYONE YOU LOVE OR RESPECT HAS AT SOME POINT PUSHED A PULL DOOR

Can't wait for Justin Bieber to start DJing

A guy at the bar made me chug a beer because I told him I wasn't a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. This is the Canadian version of waterboarding.

cover letter: hi my mom is making me apply for this job and i don't want it. if you call me for an interview i will burn your business down.

I received a lifetime ban from Target for screaming "Back with another one of those block rockin' BEATS!" and farting into the intercom.

hello 911? my sister just released my starter Pokemon into the wild