Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
"Consider" changing my password? Why don't you "consider" sitting on a curling iron.
I play the poor confused old man and the cashier is all "No, hun, it's okay, you keep that." You're gonna LOVE your seventies, kids.
Elevator, confessional, dentist chair, taxicab, massage table - a few of the places I've farted.
Do we all tweet on the toilet? Thought so. Meeting adjourned.
What kind of wine goes with kangaroo?
Am I the only one who thinks waterboarding wouldn’t be THAT bad?
Set your clock ahead Sunday afternoon this year, so you lose an hour of being awake instead of an hour of sleep. Ready for my Nobel Prize.
Our kids and their SOs are driving to Grand Rapids for something called a "beerfest." Something to do with beer I assume.
We were the homeland of any honest person who wanted to come live here, especially the ones starving for food or freedom. What happened?
That little rattling noise cats make when they see a bird out the window, that's me at the pastry case.
Whenever I say something I think my wife might quote later, I say it in that goofy "man-voice" women use so she'll be accurate.
Monday is the cruelest month.
Regarding your cryptic Facebook post, most of us don't care, a few of us are hoping it means you've been diagnosed with something horrible.