why, when yer wife or gf gets pregnant all her friends rub her belly saying "congratulations!"...nobody rubs yer dick sayin "Good Job!!"

Don't base your decisions on the advice of people who don't have to deal with the results.

Who's Victoria and what the fuck is her Secret?

┌П┐(◣_◢)┌П┐ @_rebeccablack_

@nikkisixx happy bday fucker http://t.co/FK6eVmvp

Do u know dolphins r so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train humans 2 stand on the edge of a pool & throw fish @ them!

JAPAN!?... can you hear me? i love you!!

“@uberfacts: Female kangaroos actually have 3 vaginas.” And Mötley Crüe is on its way to Australia next week? 👌👈

Holy Tattoo party @thekatvond @deadmau5 @mileycyrus @sofiofficial @dannylohner

Jon Stewart Jabs Romney For 'Getting Dumber' As Election Approaches (VIDEO) http://t.co/sIUUTDgV via @huffpostcomedy

@diplo hahaha! Expressin myself! http://t.co/G1ACaIFj

Just heard the stupidest lyrics ever "I love you like a love song baby" wow

“@twitaa_bot: 　╭━━━━━━╮
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　┗━┻━━━╯chin-nuts

True!!!! http://t.co/HsKuykEE

Tommy Lee Speaks Up for Animal Adoption http://t.co/zSeshVLl via @rollingstone

"@thenoteboook: Hate is a four letter word. Love is a four letter lie." Whoa!! Good morning to u too!!

(`-`) (._. ) (· - ·) ( ._.) ( ' -') <-- me looking for A fuck to give.

Amy Winehouse died. That's a lifestyle choice. The 87 who were murdered in Oslo Norway. That's Fucking tragic.

“@missterydiva: Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings. #DamnItsTrue” true!!!!!

Motley Crue Go Above and Beyond for Vegas Residency | Music News | Rolling Stone http://t.co/KNOY6are via @rollingstone