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Do you ever wake up and not recognize your life anymore?
How do people get these 50 star tweets? My best was two and one half.
I will be giving hugs between 1:20 and 1:22 in the lobby.
I need coffee in a very deep and meaningful way.
I want to be kidnapped by a group obsessive dieticians and personal trainers.
Eating celery which is negative calories so I am eating cake next.
My Spider sense is tingling...nope false alarm foot went to sleep.
I just want to say am not a perfect person my tweets are often not funny My insights often lacking But dog gone it I am here if you need me
Nothing looks better on a woman than intelligence, a sense of humor, an extensive vocabulary and cleavage.
I realize it is Spank A Bum Day in Britain but Spank A Bum Day takes on a whole new meaning in the States I don't want to abuse the homeless
Somebody retweet me, this is a test
Why are there bullies on Twitter?
My tweets would be funnier if you heard me reading aloud.
If it makes you happy it can't be that bad.
Believe me it is not easy being the smart ass. Historically our kind were often beaten or even killed for a quick retort. Hug a SA today.
If you have ever been severely depressed you know it is just waiting for another opportunity, a moment of weakness. Be strong.
I am more than comedy and chiseled good looks
I don't want Sunday to end.
Happy Valentines Day to all my baby mamas.
Provide random insight to strangers, thug whisper. I also give sincere compliments. free validation http://favstar.fm/users/Mr_Landshark
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