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  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Hubby: "Why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?"
    Wife: "I don't want to bother you while you are at work."

    • 2,256
    • FAVS
    vicynical_Hailee_MondayPajamasLambyMcSheepsHarriedKariNervousSaurusJohnDuffy21FilleDeDanse
    • 1,107
    • RETWEETS
    vicynicalDeputyMarkMondayPajamasjunaidnaqiFrumple_JamesNervousSauruslirielmarinezmerryc1978
    thetobbieNorthside_MikeRyanAndrewMitchGobshite_BillArrundaleGrumpyCommentsJenny4ashleyMr_goose007NoLuckWantedComedyCarterlucyworld1_InsanelyNormal__Parentpainsmrtruthandsoulchopper4jkilovepie84NoLuckNeededJust_Lee_1lllvvvzzzFilthyJeepGirlRudeRidingRomeofluffysuseakarmutttreydayway__AlbertaChriscixelsidgod______eliserose5_SirPrincessTetley6969GeneralGreviousMyLongBalls
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. u were suppose 2 make me funnier, smarter & put me in a good mood.... I saw the photos - we need to talk.

    • 1,886
    • FAVS
    merryc1978scootiekkMon_x_Teylauradru62LarryPankeyporkchoppxpresChristinaWyldsifuzzlime
    • 1,089
    • RETWEETS
    Mon_x_TeyarcherenemyfuzzlimerunninforwineCindy_LarizzaSnehaNaiduTyler_Daystday912
    mrt1mNoLuckWantedJenny4ashleyNot_From_TroyA_SmartAssStevie_TalkBrianhopecomedylucyworld1Mr_goose007drunkNnaughty_SirPrincess_wangweTuna_LoverRamblingMachine__lllvvvzzzMasqueradedLady__Blondiethegoodsee_more13EatingZebras______Jennifergr8__ParentpainszgbettyJazzzzzminachrisanna4realCarter_TCBThe_MartiniGirlExploringUrMind__MattDaddyO________
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    6% of men enjoy a bj for sexual satisfaction, 6% enjoy it for visual stimulation and the other 88% just enjoy it for the peace & quiet...

    • 1,727
    • FAVS
    vicynicalmerryc1978Dishy_MedicHORNYAT40mooyainiColinBevis1poeticshadow_clavon28
    • 1,185
    • RETWEETS
    HORNYAT40mooyainiRusty_SwillDebHawk12zolofighterrandom_tammieHarlowePilgrimOrgasmsMindtrip__
    QwertyJones3Dong_HangerNoLuckWantedjoeldangerVikeeysSecretsiavalalllvvvzzz_SirPrincessGrowingUpScottyTEXASVETERANFannyB1tch________Token_GeezerMutedBSartistBillFienbergsee_more13Supersurlychopper4jkiheartguntsJonCantTweet__scratchysinghzachreinert03thetobbieAlbertaChris
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Anal sex is not for pussies

    • 1,508
    • FAVS
    merryc1978rachiecandicedbgindyWildeThingySheppyukshwebby34ScoreN20Bowlsellejizzer
    • 763
    • RETWEETS
    Clean_Teashwebby3Misterman567darda_berry__TrinidadJay_nefariousPeterDCleotrapstarBoozeBumps
    lovablelucasilluminatedwndrLitra_In_Denial__BBQJones28________avaricious1DavidOzmundsee_more13zachreinert03YouFuckingWonEvilPandaXTetley6969Mr_goose007
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    My twitter crush just DM'd me a dick pic. I said I would love to see that erect. He blocked me...

    • 1,168
    • FAVS
    merryc1978mooyainiHanafHanafHelenaHartUthe2horseman69Tweet_Meenewstart43AllaHbastEr
    • 351
    • RETWEETS
    therealhatface1mooyainiHispanicIconiamgurpinkonsekvenshennewstart43AllaHbastErwolfpack197721
    see_more13Hello_BellaHeyZeus666RichHarris2hidingfromme__Token_Geezer
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I'm gonna drink myself single...

    • 1,128
    • FAVS
    therealhatface1mooyainicharrrllaathechefbakesgorgeouscompanythe2horseman69Raid1968newstart43
    • 360
    • RETWEETS
    mooyainiHispanicIconiamgurpnewstart43AllaHbastErwolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjaDRAAKARMAN
    osigatMyLoveGoesDown____5haelNotKarmathedayofthedotgreen_babe_ddscrapsquashguy15DrThanatosClare_innitdjr_102
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I sit for 15 minutes laughing at my own tweet. Then read it to my husband who looks at me in confusion...

    • 1,032
    • FAVS
    vicynicalLambyMcSheepsMarsianManscootiekkCrazy8s___dbcrapwellwolfpack197721JaniceLRead
    • 295
    • RETWEETS
    NatashaDarganTwiterHeroscootiekkiamgurpwolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjadeegeemindiFuzzy_Karmakazi
    scootiekkInThaBurbsNoorShammaWeissBrandon______Hello_BellaAristotlesNZ__LuvPugHoGoLightlyPatStar14GeneralGrevious
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Never let someone cure your insanity. It's what makes you who you are. What is a mind without a bit of insanity? Lifeless. Boring. Dead...

    • 791
    • FAVS
    Tyler_DaysCrazy8s___lucyworld1wolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjaTangyToastincognytoedaphygirl74
    • 484
    • RETWEETS
    SnehaNaiduTyler_Daysiamgurpwolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjadaphygirl74Fuzzy_Karmakaziejmichaels1
    thetobbieJTppMan_jennjennNJFreudianFloatersfinestrachiecandiceKPsych29__________justmebreathingMyRedHairIsRealhoneybadgerMelPeaceInTruth1AbeeGeorgina______Tinkerbell_EvilPandaX
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    It's not that men don't understand women. Men don't understand Anyone. Not even themselves. Just give em a break n let em jizz on your face

    • 758
    • FAVS
    ladyroueKittyMeFrecklesrobinsparklesssRubberGlueFUtboneafterdarkiinkedZombieBoozieMcFloozyNestleCrunch
    • 407
    • RETWEETS
    ladyroueAAisonlinewhammer8saravananmssTrueTorontoGirlmooyainiiamgurpwolfpack197721
    Gobshite_DaddyJewMr_goose007Naggalie__________zachreinert03slyoung5_SirPrincess
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I snort glitter. I want to be beautiful inside and out...

    • 838
    • FAVS
    Tyler_DaysCrazy8s___wolfpack197721shita3yosaysRealJinjaNinjaTangyToastTheBlessMess187GoFast
    • 319
    • RETWEETS
    SnehaNaiduTyler_DaysiamgurpBadass_Brunelliwolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjaslyoung5dinesh_chaudhRi
    NoLuckWantedlloydranggidget_76iBrowniEd2michamontaz_Prozach74________
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Without fools the rest of us could not succeed

    • 797
    • FAVS
    vicynicalmooyainiCrazy8s___SassyTexasGalNursey2Belucyworld1Smooheedwolfpack197721
    • 306
    • RETWEETS
    iamgurplucyworld1Buzzee09wolfpack197721DoggNinja____RealJinjaNinjadinesh_chaudhRiFuzzy_Karmakazi
    Mr_goose007getta_grip_onItbeskrajanThateverydayguyNoorShammaPJPFLA_xLNcsee_more13Muath_tu__________PeaceInTruth1KDsMorningBoomBamBunnymdvaldosta
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    If I unfollow you I accept your apology, for boring me...

    • 703
    • FAVS
    Crazy8s___Nursey2Bewolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjaTangyToastFuzzy_Karmakaziunderyourbed666JTppMan
    • 299
    • RETWEETS
    iamgurpBuzzee09wolfpack197721Fuzzy_KarmakaziToxicButTastyReeseButCallMeVJTppManRealJinjaNinja
    Alyssa_Jolie__iLightbulb________iAmJuddygaliamangoHonestMisssilent_musings
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I Don't get why ppl are scared to RT. Do u want to keep your followers to yourself? Ppl have the Right to see how Funny I Am.
    Cunt!

    • 612
    • FAVS
    HORNYAT40mooyainiCrazy8s___wolfpack197721adamwt1978JaeMar68MissMalbecTangyToast
    • 355
    • RETWEETS
    mooyainiiamgurpwolfpack197721Hamza_tariqJaeMar68MissMalbecRealJinjaNinjaTheRealRHB
    MouthOfSassYearOfRat
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I star'd a girl and I
    Liked it....

    • 740
    • FAVS
    mooyainivalzhoganDrBoozenitCheeseboy22chantal_devoTnucTewnewstart43Hates_Ketchup
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
    TnucTewnewstart43thatUPSdudeiamgurpwolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjaFuzzy_Karmakazilasergirl70
    lucyworld1CarpentersCrack
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I don't really give a fuck what you think of me. Unless you think I'm smart, pretty, sexy, funny, awesome. Then yes, you would be correct.

    • 587
    • FAVS
    vicynicalHeyZeus666LuvPugmooyainiDecadent_n_MoreMidniteMassagebrianfergy2valzhogan
    • 327
    • RETWEETS
    BeingAllyMoore__OntheHunt13newstart43ashrussellllvivianayee_0EmmyEm_KendraKensingtojoeisnothere
    The_MartiniGirlJust_Lee_SmooheedMr_goose007TheMichaelRockNoLuckWantedLoli_Sug
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Ten percent of something is better than 100% of nothing

    • 666
    • FAVS
    vicynicalHeyZeus666Crazy8s___Nursey2Belucyworld1wolfpack197721JaniceLReadDoggNinja____
    • 216
    • RETWEETS
    iamgurplucyworld1wolfpack197721DoggNinja____RealJinjaNinjaRonak65767rupal_87___definitlymaybe
    JTppMansweetg35Just_Lee_1Bacon_Ball________scratchysinghredpawn3AintNoGlueSergioValenCo
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    The secret to success is not to tell anyone about it

    • 485
    • FAVS
    scootiekk7sChrisMillerThe_GetawayGirlPaulMMonaghantzeneggmazizkhalifaCrazy8s___skivyy
    • 329
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyiamgurpChivetteAndreaPaulMMonaghanBellinaWifeschiggymslindzewolfpack197721
    tissytassy13______drunkNnaughtyj_luce3Thedudish
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Cum is in the eye of the blowjobber...

    • 647
    • FAVS
    SukmiStarmooyainiCrazy8s___dbcrapwellTangyToastTheBlessMessN_Makhayesarybear22
    • 164
    • RETWEETS
    HORNYAT40mooyainiiamgurpAutoCutter1slyoung5Fuzzy_KarmakaziTwo_sneaksiamMunga
    nerfspur
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    TwitterCrush's are for amateurs, they don't do much. I have a TwitterWhore. He Stars and RT's all my shit...

    • 616
    • FAVS
    mooyainiCrazy8s___TangyToastargenllupiFuzzy_KarmakaziJTppManTwo_sneaksiamMunga
    • 163
    • RETWEETS
    iamgurpFuzzy_KarmakaziiamMungatexasstalkermomDoubletap6xDrFapFapZJax02Squizbot
    willoffendyou
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    My TwitterCrush just DM'd me. Admitting he was a she...

    Meh... As long as you keep the same Avi I don't care...

    • 580
    • FAVS
    mooyainiCrazy8s___wolfpack197721TangyToastFasterMKsteviethekFuzzy_KarmakaziJTppMan
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    iamgurpwolfpack197721Fuzzy_KarmakazifinnmciverFloatersfinestTinkerbell_ZJax02Squizbot
    redpawn3YearOfRat
@MrsGoose69

@MrsGoose69

I'm here to be me. So shut it and move along. Kids don't follow, somethings your parents should teach you Not me.