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  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Hubby: "Why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?"
    Wife: "I don't want to bother you while you are at work."

    • 2,258
    • FAVS
    MamaHuntsBestjimmy_sharpevicynical_Hailee_MondayPajamasLambyMcSheepsHarriedKariNervousSaurus
    • 1,109
    • RETWEETS
    MamaHuntsBestli4mst3w4rtvicynicalDeputyMarkMondayPajamasjunaidnaqiFrumple_JamesNervousSaurus
    thetobbieNorthside_MikeRyanAndrewMitchGobshite_BillArrundaleGrumpyCommentsJenny4ashleyMr_goose007NoLuckWantedComedyCarterlucyworld1_InsanelyNormal__Parentpainsmrtruthandsoulchopper4jkilovepie84NoLuckNeededJust_Lee_1lllvvvzzzFilthyJeepGirlRudeRidingRomeofluffysuseakarmutttreydayway__AlbertaChriscixelsidgod______eliserose5_SirPrincessTetley6969GeneralGreviousMyLongBalls
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. u were suppose 2 make me funnier, smarter & put me in a good mood.... I saw the photos - we need to talk.

    • 1,886
    • FAVS
    LHydJawIsCr4k3J__scootiekkMon_x_Teylauradru62LarryPankeyporkchoppxpresChristinaWyldsifuzzlime
    • 1,090
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtMon_x_TeyarcherenemyfuzzlimerunninforwineCindy_LarizzaSnehaNaiduTyler_Days
    mrt1mNoLuckWantedJenny4ashleyNot_From_TroyA_SmartAssStevie_GainzBrianhopecomedylucyworld1Mr_goose007drunkNnaughty_SirPrincess_wangweTuna_LoverRamblingMachine__lllvvvzzzMasqueradedLady__Blondiethegoodsee_more13EatingZebras______Jennifergr8ParentpainszgbettyJazzzzzminachrisanna4realCarter_TCBThe_MartiniGirlExploringUrMind__MattDaddyO________
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    6% of men enjoy a bj for sexual satisfaction, 6% enjoy it for visual stimulation and the other 88% just enjoy it for the peace & quiet...

    • 1,727
    • FAVS
    vicynicalLHydJawIsCr4k3J__Dishy_MedicBoringAt41mooyainiColinBevis1poeticshadow_clavon28
    • 1,185
    • RETWEETS
    BoringAt41mooyainiRusty_SwillDebHawk12zolofighterrandom_tammieHarlowePilgrimOrgasmsMindtrip__
    QwertyJones3Dong_HangerNoLuckWantedjoeldangerVikeeysSecretsiavalalllvvvzzz_SirPrincessGrowingUpScottyTEXASVETERANFannyB1tch________Token_GeezerMutedBSartist__BillFienbergsee_more13Supersurlychopper4jkiheartguntsJonCantTweet__scratchysinghzachreinert03thetobbieAlbertaChris
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Anal sex is not for pussies

    • 1,509
    • FAVS
    li4mst3w4rtLHydJawIsCr4k3J__rachiecandiceMr_Friend_ZoneWildeThingySheppyukshwebby34ScoreN20Bowls
    • 764
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtClean_Teashwebby3Misterman567darda_berry__TrinidadJay_nefariousPeterDCleotrapstar
    lovablelucasilluminatedwndrLitra_In_Denial__BBQJones28________avaricious1DavidOzmundsee_more13zachreinert03YouFuckingWonEvilPandaXTetley6969Mr_goose007
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    My twitter crush just DM'd me a dick pic. I said I would love to see that erect. He blocked me...

    • 1,170
    • FAVS
    MamaHuntsBestli4mst3w4rtLHydJawIsCr4k3J__mooyainiHanafHanafHelenaHartUthe2horseman69Tweet_Mee
    • 352
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rttherealhatface1mooyainiHispanicIconiamgurpinkonsekvenshennewstart43AllIstErbAntEr
    see_more13Hello_BellaHeyZeus666RichHarris2hidingfromme__Token_Geezer
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I'm gonna drink myself single...

    • 1,128
    • FAVS
    therealhatface1mooyainicharrrllaathechefbakesgorgeouscompanythe2horseman69Raid1968newstart43
    • 360
    • RETWEETS
    mooyainiHispanicIconiamgurpnewstart43AllIstErbAntErwolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjaDRAAKARMAN
    osigatMyLoveGoesDown____5haelNotKarmathedayofthedotgreen_babe_ddscrapsquashguy15DrThanatosClare_innitdjr_102
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I sit for 15 minutes laughing at my own tweet. Then read it to my husband who looks at me in confusion...

    • 1,033
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68vicynicalLambyMcSheepsMarsianManscootiekkCrazy8s___dbcrapwellwolfpack197721
    • 296
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtNatashaDarganTwiterHeroscootiekkiamgurpwolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjadeegeemindi
    scootiekkInThaBurbsNoorShammaWeissBrandon______Hello_BellaAristotlesNZ__LuvPugHoGoLightlyPatStar14GeneralGrevious
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Never let someone cure your insanity. It's what makes you who you are. What is a mind without a bit of insanity? Lifeless. Boring. Dead...

    • 793
    • FAVS
    li4mst3w4rtTmoney68Tyler_DaysCrazy8s___lucyworld1wolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjaTangyToast
    • 485
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtSnehaNaiduTyler_Daysiamgurpwolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjadaphygirl74Sweet_SueZ
    thetobbieJTppMan_jennjennNJFreudianFloatersfinestrachiecandiceKPsych29__________justmebreathing__MyRedHairIsRealhoneybadgerMelPeaceInTruth1AbeeGeorgina______Tinkerbell_EvilPandaX
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    It's not that men don't understand women. Men don't understand Anyone. Not even themselves. Just give em a break n let em jizz on your face

    • 759
    • FAVS
    li4mst3w4rtladyroueKittyMeFrecklesrobinsparklesssRubberGlueFUtboneafterdarkiinkedZombieBoozieMcFloozy
    • 408
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtladyroueAAisonlinewhammer8saravananmssTrueTorontoGirlmooyainiiamgurp
    Gobshite_DaddyJewMr_goose007Naggalie__________zachreinert03slyoung5_SirPrincess
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I snort glitter. I want to be beautiful inside and out...

    • 839
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68Tyler_DaysCrazy8s___wolfpack197721shita3yosaysRealJinjaNinjaTangyToastTheBlessMess
    • 320
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtSnehaNaiduTyler_DaysiamgurpBadass_Brunelliwolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjaslyoung5
    NoLuckWantedlloydranggidget_76iBrowniEd2michamontaz_Prozach74________
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Without fools the rest of us could not succeed

    • 797
    • FAVS
    vicynicalmooyainiCrazy8s___SassyTexasGalNursey2Belucyworld1Smooheedwolfpack197721
    • 307
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtiamgurplucyworld1Buzzee09wolfpack197721DoggNinja____RealJinjaNinjadinesh_chaudhRi
    Mr_goose007getta_grip_onItbeskrajanThateverydayguyNoorShammaPJPFLAleft_flanksee_more13Muath_tu__________PeaceInTruth1KDsMorningBoomBamBunnymdvaldosta
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    If I unfollow you I accept your apology, for boring me...

    • 703
    • FAVS
    Crazy8s___Nursey2Bewolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjaTangyToastSweet_SueZunderyourbed666JTppMan
    • 299
    • RETWEETS
    iamgurpBuzzee09wolfpack197721Sweet_SueZToxicButTastyReeseButCallMeVJTppManRealJinjaNinja
    Alyssa_Jolie__iLightbulb________iAmJuddygaliamangoHonestMisssilent_musings
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I Don't get why ppl are scared to RT. Do u want to keep your followers to yourself? Ppl have the Right to see how Funny I Am.
    Cunt!

    • 613
    • FAVS
    li4mst3w4rtBoringAt41mooyainiCrazy8s___wolfpack197721adamwt1978JaeMar68MissMalbec
    • 356
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtmooyainiiamgurpwolfpack197721Hamza_tariqJaeMar68MissMalbecRealJinjaNinja
    MouthOfSassYearOfRat
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I star'd a girl and I
    Liked it....

    • 740
    • FAVS
    mooyainivalzhoganDrBoozenitCheeseboy22chantal_devoTnucTewnewstart43Hates_Ketchup__
    • 180
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtTnucTewnewstart43thatUPSdudeiamgurpwolfpack197721RealJinjaNinjaSweet_SueZ
    lucyworld1CarpentersCrack
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I don't really give a fuck what you think of me. Unless you think I'm smart, pretty, sexy, funny, awesome. Then yes, you would be correct.

    • 587
    • FAVS
    vicynicalHeyZeus666LuvPugmooyainiDecadent_n_MoreMidniteMassagebrianfergy2valzhogan
    • 327
    • RETWEETS
    BeingAllyMoore__OntheHunt13newstart43ashrussellllvivianayee_0EmmyEm_KendraKensingtojoeisnothere
    The_MartiniGirlJust_Lee_SmooheedMr_goose007TheMichaelRockNoLuckWantedLoli_Sug
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Ten percent of something is better than 100% of nothing

    • 666
    • FAVS
    vicynicalHeyZeus666Crazy8s___Nursey2Belucyworld1wolfpack197721JaniceLReadDoggNinja____
    • 217
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtiamgurplucyworld1wolfpack197721DoggNinja____RealJinjaNinjaRonak65767rupal_87
    JTppMansweetg35Just_Lee_1Bacon_Ball________scratchysinghredpawn3OshuaSparkleSergioValenCo
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    The secret to success is not to tell anyone about it

    • 485
    • FAVS
    scootiekk7sChrisMillerThe_GetawayGirlPaulMMonaghantzeneggmazizkhalifaCrazy8s___skivyy
    • 330
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtfavstar_historyiamgurpChivetteAndreaPaulMMonaghanBellinaWifeschiggymslindze
    tissytassy13______drunkNnaughtyj_luce3Thedudish
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Cum is in the eye of the blowjobber...

    • 647
    • FAVS
    SukmiStarmooyainiCrazy8s___dbcrapwellTangyToastTheBlessMessN_Makhayesarybear22
    • 165
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtBoringAt41mooyainiiamgurpAutoCutter1slyoung5Sweet_SueZTwo_sneaks
    nerfspur
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    TwitterCrush's are for amateurs, they don't do much. I have a TwitterWhore. He Stars and RT's all my shit...

    • 617
    • FAVS
    dxblarssonENGmooyainiCrazy8s___TangyToastargenllupiSweet_SueZJTppManTwo_sneaks
    • 164
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtiamgurpSweet_SueZiamMungatexasstalkermomDoubletap6xDrFapFapZJax02
    willoffendyou
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    My TwitterCrush just DM'd me. Admitting he was a she...

    Meh... As long as you keep the same Avi I don't care...

    • 580
    • FAVS
    mooyainiCrazy8s___wolfpack197721TangyToastFasterMKsteviethekSweet_SueZJTppMan
    • 139
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtiamgurpwolfpack197721Sweet_SueZfinnmciverFloatersfinestTinkerbell_ZJax02
    redpawn3YearOfRat
@MrsGoose69

@MrsGoose69

I'm here to be me. So shut it and move along. Kids don't follow, somethings your parents should teach you Not me.