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  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Hubby: "Why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?"
    Wife: "I don't want to bother you while you are at work."

    • 2,160
    • FAVS
    Hardluck_Boybrittneycrow95haleysfallingLandon8426DukEB51Northside_MikePanicRestroomHighOnRed
    • 1,058
    • RETWEETS
    _dee_essCletusHammerRAYDONRUSHDukEB51Northside_Mikeejmichaels1marieaskiasinine17
    Northside_MikeRyanAndrewMitchworley_7BillArrundaleGrumpyCommentsJenny4ashleyMr_goose007NoLuckWantedComedyCarterlucyworld1_InsanelyNormal__Parentpainsmrtruthandsoulchopper4jkilovepie84NoLuckNeededJust_Lee_1lllvvvzzzFilthyJeepGirlRudeRidingRomeofluffysuseakarmutttreydaywayAlbertaChriscixelsidgod______eliserose5_SirPrincessTetley6969GeneralGreviousMyLongBalls
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. u were suppose 2 make me funnier, smarter & put me in a good mood.... I saw the photos - we need to talk.

    • 1,847
    • FAVS
    vest_annaRissa4CaultDukEB51Northside_Mikedavidbryant1Buzzee09OsirRobertKEHighOnRed
    • 1,065
    • RETWEETS
    Andira110CletusHammerDukEB51Northside_MikeTheMistaJeffRayBuzzee09DamocleanswordHighOnRed
    mrt1mNoLuckWantedJenny4ashleyNot_From_TroyA_SmartAssStevie_TalkBrianhopecomedylucyworld1Mr_goose007drunkNnaughty_SirPrincess_wangweTuna_LoverRamblingMachine__lllvvvzzzMasqueradedLady__Blondiethegoodsee_more13EatingZebras______Jennifergr8ParentpainszgbettyJazzzzzminachrisanna4realCarter_TCBThe_MartiniGirlExploringUrMindMattDaddyO________
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    6% of men enjoy a bj for sexual satisfaction, 6% enjoy it for visual stimulation and the other 88% just enjoy it for the peace & quiet...

    • 1,683
    • FAVS
    _dee_esspiyush_poohcigarinRissa4CaultNorthside_MikeHighOnRedejmichaels1Lunatic_times
    • 1,163
    • RETWEETS
    piyush_poohcigarinCletusHammerejmichaels1MiltonYatichnyax6CrazyGreekGuysanbay
    QwertyJones3Dong_HangerNoLuckWantedjoeldangerVikeeysSecretsiavalalllvvvzzz_SirPrincessGrowingUpScottyTEXASVETERANFannyB1tch________Token_GeezerMutedBSartistBillFienbergsee_more13Supersurlychopper4jkiheartguntsJonCantTweetscratchysinghzachreinert03thetobbieAlbertaChris
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Anal sex is not for pussies

    • 1,464
    • FAVS
    JaybrahamAlHumphriesDukEB51Northside_MikePanicRestroomTwo_sneaksStupidSophia_PhinallyHere
    • 735
    • RETWEETS
    ShelleyBesselWhat_Fuckin_EvaDukEB51Northside_MikePhinallyHeresevenxx7iMoOrey_nyax6
    lovablelucasilluminatedwndrLitra_In_Denial__BBQJones28________avaricious1Schmoodles________see_more13zachreinert03YouFuckingWonEvilPandaXTetley6969Mr_goose007
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    My twitter crush just DM'd me a dick pic. I said I would love to see that erect. He blocked me...

    • 1,152
    • FAVS
    cigarinNorthside_Mikeejmichaels1Two_sneaksStupidSophia_darlingshelly72nyax6DrFapFap
    • 341
    • RETWEETS
    cigarinejmichaels1Two_sneaksMissStishanyax6Jojo_51213pritamJAYKARZJax02
    see_more13Hello_BellaHeyZeus666RichHarris2hidingfrommeToken_Geezer
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I'm gonna drink myself single...

    • 1,102
    • FAVS
    Northside_MikeStupidSophia_MelanieJoMooreABnonymousCheysc4lif0rnia23ManginaMcCoolTabiEvansErik_Allen
    • 349
    • RETWEETS
    SmooheedSkyHighCutie7DrFapFapJojo_51213li4mst3w4rtChipKellysBallsJeeepstaTHEONLYAGRAY
    osigatMyLoveGoesDown____5haelNotKarmathedayofthedotgreen_babe_ddscrapsquashguy15DrThanatosClare_innitdjr_102
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I sit for 15 minutes laughing at my own tweet. Then read it to my husband who looks at me in confusion...

    • 1,020
    • FAVS
    Two_sneaksStupidSophia_Smooheedsevenxx7nyax6DrFapFapJojo_51213li4mst3w4rt
    • 287
    • RETWEETS
    CherBear1621evilidiotZJax02SquizbotBeer4AGoodTimePhoenixRises69Tuvescon__________BarelyStill
    InThaBurbsNoorShammaWeissBrandon______Hello_BellaAristotlesNZ__LuvPugHoGoLightlyPatStar14GeneralGrevious
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Never let someone cure your insanity. It's what makes you who you are. What is a mind without a bit of insanity? Lifeless. Boring. Dead...

    • 782
    • FAVS
    ejmichaels1StupidSophia_SmooheedMzCocoaBlacknicolbrookePeanut_WyoDaddyJewsevenxx7
    • 477
    • RETWEETS
    ejmichaels1Peanut_WyoDaddyJewTiA_PiNkY_MaRiEVyfie_NSolgadoMarleyPsychographEdllekey
    thetobbieJT_IV__jennjennNJFreudianFloatersfinestrachiecandiceKPsych29__________justmebreathingMyRedHairIsRealhoneybadgerMelPeaceInTruth1AbeeGeorgina______Tinkerbell_EvilPandaX
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    It's not that men don't understand women. Men don't understand Anyone. Not even themselves. Just give em a break n let em jizz on your face

    • 738
    • FAVS
    Two_sneaksStupidSophia_nyax6Jojo_51213ChipKellysBallsCletusHammerReeseButCallMeVPsychographEd
    • 397
    • RETWEETS
    Two_sneaksnyax6ZJax02mahatmatweeterCherBear162Ndive1312Squizbotmayanalawesome
    worley_7DaddyJewMr_goose007Naggalie__________zachreinert03slyoung5_SirPrincess
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I snort glitter. I want to be beautiful inside and out...

    • 825
    • FAVS
    CrissyFlorenciaCharmandBrainszorgodStupidSophia_Dirty_Naomikmjordan3darkshadow13DanaTicer
    • 310
    • RETWEETS
    TreeGroupieLolaLuxxeStupidSophia_daredoubleyouDanaTicerJ_Illunninatikmjordan3ZJax02
    NoLuckWantedlloydranggidget_76iBrowniEd2michamontaz_Prozach74________
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Without fools the rest of us could not succeed

    • 783
    • FAVS
    Two_sneaksnaeem_omargouravmalhotraolita81robftw73elguacamoleBilalMohdRLittleeLauraaa
    • 298
    • RETWEETS
    pratyu999olita81SummerLynne76LuvPugnyax6ReeseButCallMeVZJax02kvo1313
    Mr_goose007getta_grip_onItaltheneThateverydayguyNoorShammaPeterJPappas_xLNcsee_more13Muath_tu__________PeaceInTruth1KDsMorningBoomBamBunnymdvaldosta
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    If I unfollow you I accept your apology, for boring me...

    • 697
    • FAVS
    underyourbed666JT_IV_lacrossemom5Kidradikulmauson_MyUglyMustacheEveryoneLoveCoxKagzthedon
    • 295
    • RETWEETS
    ToxicButTastyReeseButCallMeVJT_IV_RealJinjaNinjaRickyScampEdgarKevinMothoni_MistaEdd
    Alyssa_JolieiLightbulb________iAmJuddygaliamango________HonestMisssilent_musings
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I Don't get why ppl are scared to RT. Do u want to keep your followers to yourself? Ppl have the Right to see how Funny I Am.
    Cunt!

    • 600
    • FAVS
    JT_IV_Two_sneaksiamMungaSmooheedDaddyJewnyax6lasergirl70DrFapFap
    • 345
    • RETWEETS
    iamMungaDrFapFapgun5hy3FRANKSTALICIOUSZJax02Squizbotgetta_grip_onItBareChesty
    MouthOfSassYearOfRat
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I star'd a girl and I
    Liked it....

    • 721
    • FAVS
    JT_IV_DaddyJewsevenxx7nyax6lasergirl70JesseeRaeeDrFapFapli4mst3w4rt
    • 172
    • RETWEETS
    lasergirl70DrFapFapZJax02ShwentopcarysheltonPsychographEdiamMungaSquizbot
    lucyworld1CarpentersCrack
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Ten percent of something is better than 100% of nothing

    • 651
    • FAVS
    llvvzzJatinK11MmeLaCroozallthingspoeticLooseTalks_GirlStrauchdieb91thulnicolleslyoung5
    • 207
    • RETWEETS
    MillsyyyyStillElle_Deethulnicolleslyoung5ToxicButTastyslotjunkierosextotheveeReeseButCallMeV
    JT_IV_sweetg35Just_Lee_1Bacon_Ball________scratchysinghredpawn3AintNoGlueSergioValenCo
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    I don't really give a fuck what you think of me. Unless you think I'm smart, pretty, sexy, funny, awesome. Then yes, you would be correct.

    • 550
    • FAVS
    gmossiiToxicButTastyBackpackerBooieJT_IV_RickyScampHighOnRedLunatic_timesGrddx
    • 305
    • RETWEETS
    ToxicButTastyMkjkfitzgeraldAlpha_Sitsoadamwt1978Just_Lee_Alyssa_JolieiamMunganyax6
    The_MartiniGirlJust_Lee_SmooheedMr_goose007TheMichaelRockNoLuckWantedLoli_Sug
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    Cum is in the eye of the blowjobber...

    • 636
    • FAVS
    JT_IV_HighOnRedTwo_sneaksiamMunganyax6DrFapFapli4mst3w4rtChipKellysBalls
    • 158
    • RETWEETS
    Two_sneaksiamMunganyax6ZJax02SquizbotSail0rp00nRayFromCincyThe_MartiniGirl
    nerfspur
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    The secret to success is not to tell anyone about it

    • 468
    • FAVS
    JT_IV_HighOnRedPrefersSleepsumpeoplelikeitxosmfiffyjosarybear22ericbove
    • 317
    • RETWEETS
    BarbzthegreatzolofighterMoi_RaRaRainbowLorikee1BREATHEURSIGHiamMunganyax6Alyssa_Jolie
    tissytassy13______drunkNnaughtyj_luce3Thedudish
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    TwitterCrush's are for amateurs, they don't do much. I have a TwitterWhore. He Stars and RT's all my shit...

    • 611
    • FAVS
    JT_IV_Two_sneaksiamMungaSmooheedDaddyJewnyax6philandher96uncybillized
    • 161
    • RETWEETS
    iamMungatexasstalkermomDoubletap6xDrFapFapZJax02SquizbotronniesorterBlondechacha
    willoffendyou
  • MrsGoose69
      MrsG @MrsGoose69

    My TwitterCrush just DM'd me. Admitting he was a she...

    Meh... As long as you keep the same Avi I don't care...

    • 573
    • FAVS
    JT_IV_Smooheednyax6DrFapFapli4mst3w4rtChipKellysBallsAshKetchmmmarmuzella
    • 135
    • RETWEETS
    FinnMcIverFloatersfinestTinkerbell_ZJax02SquizbotGirliegurllBareChestyPaperWash
    redpawn3YearOfRat
@MrsGoose69

@MrsGoose69
Pro

I'm here to be me. Not you, ME! So shut it and move along. Kids don't follow, somethings your parents should teach you Not me.