Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Gay divorces need to be legalized everywhere because I would watch the shit out of a gay divorce court.
I wasn't mad. Then you asked me 12 times if I was mad. Well, now I'm mad.
Fuck, you are my favorite word. I love you Fuck.
No it's fine I don't need commas I don't take breaks or need to breathe.
When I see people putting their heart and soul into singing to themselves in their car. I find a little faith in humanity.
If I just had that Willy Wonka whistle to signal midgets to come in and fix all my problems.
I tongue dialed you by accident because there was something tasty on my phone.
Coworker: I don't even know what's wrong with me. *sighs
Me: Oo Oooo pick me pick me I know *raises hand with answer
In the Walking Dead how and when does the cop guy find time to clean, iron, and press his uniform during the zombie apocalypse?
Drinking alone isn't so bad if you're so drunk you don't even know your own name.
I believe that one of my ribs belongs to you-Christian pickup lines.
Why are you still trying to make a life for yourself in farmville?
Don't come up to my desk and talk to me today unless you're a bottle of wine
Don’t dance like no one is watching, dance like someone is watching and about to slide a twenty dollar bill into your neon thong.
My Spirit animal hunts other spirit animals.
Some of your booby avis scare me, like I'm going to get sucked into a never ending motorboat.
If you've ever Googled "why do I want to kill him sometimes" you would be amazed at Googles response.
It's so frustrating talking to someone who's not there and they don't answer you.
I can tell by your hair that you love Jesus.
There's nothing worse than to stub your toe really bad and not have someone there to swear at, and listen to you yell.