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The worst adjective to put in front of "vagina" is still "pet-friendly."
What's everyone's favorite Solstice? Mine's Winter but Summer is a close second.
What if twitter is the only thing that soothes me?
Ever order a burrito at Chipotle and mispronounce "carnitas" and then everyone's like, "KILL THAT JEW!!!"?
Wherever you go, there you are. On your phone.
Happy Try Not to Think About Your Mother Feeling Obligated to Robotically Perform a Degrading Sex Act on Your Father Day!
Spooning my cat like the sad woman that I am
I wonder how much it pays to correct grammar on twitter?
Even though it means he’s a serial killer, it’s nice when a guy has piercing blue eyes.
who wants to come over and make garbage angels on my bedroom floor??
I like my women like I like my underwear: Dr. Mario.
My only rule when it comes to dating: her doll head collection can't be bigger than mine.
My cat has this thing where he opens his mouth to meow but he doesn't make a sound so I have to say, "Use your word."
I live in a hovel! And you live in a townhouse! I can't believe this girl!