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  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Gift @MrsTomServo Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 1,685
    • LIKES
    CapsaicinTodayiamintercreatedEssentialTumouralex_kovaleskitalk_to_darblesCollapsedJesterclawforceryan_the_zzz
    • 1,026
    • RETWEETS
    laurencstillLBulteauSuzanne_Grosnonpaulinehodeeallidesirae22clawforceSarahKate26donarthagnan
    Fingers_of_Fury
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Tip: talk to people who make you Google things.

    • 1,063
    • LIKES
    AccioJennnaRenzoEnrico_emmaswiftie19BullBearSockk3kr0psSkinnieTallsclntnmshlpzaracely
    • 843
    • RETWEETS
    MarkCHolden73Troylwinemmaswiftie19wehnicolaiWheelTodFedUpwNarcisstsCub_Schindleritsrohitdear
    Prof_Peejay
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Jimmy Fallon always looks like he's waiting for you to open a gift he's convinced you'll absolutely love.

    • 1,226
    • LIKES
    WonAThingOnceAccioJennnaHavocMantiskickassdukeHAAAAAAAAANKgothtitaSeptapusDennyJack_Battery
    • 579
    • RETWEETS
    MarkCHolden73TroylwinOkay54HAAAAAAAAANKMattTGrantdirkquinnWheelTodthatnicgirl
    SufficientCharmSonofConway
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Don't ever worry that you don't have a life. There are people who write hate mail to potato chip companies. You're probably doin' all right.

    • 926
    • LIKES
    MardigroanMsRedWritingbenicus_rexIciestJewelpskkyStTabithaBoogiequn4everd3pp3nw0lf
    • 535
    • RETWEETS
    MardigroannotsleeepingIciestJewelpskkyBoogiequn4everGaPoptartFuckabillyRexIncognicki
    markboywonder__CertifiablySanejd0ugh__
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Sorry I got confused & grabbed your fist bump like a doorknob.

    • 914
    • LIKES
    SeptapusDennyrachelle_mandikMardigroanbenicus_reximdaintyaf__findmydollsdreamthievinMinusCDPlus
    • 368
    • RETWEETS
    MardigroanSkyelights_efliDavidLHelmsBlindDefSlimbradgearonmrmywordsfuzzlimehatehug
    brennadineCpin42findmydolls
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    I have this nightmare where people are quoting Mel Brooks movies, but my mouth is too full of sandwich to join in.

    • 668
    • LIKES
    elgordito_gordoWonAThingOnceAccioJennnaItsthathingwhentherealeatwoodCornOnTheGoblinMardigroanbenicus_rex
    • 293
    • RETWEETS
    MarkCHolden73BooRadleeeWheelTodMardigroanDavidLHelmsBlindDefSlimLeeEricsonmrmywords
    Thunderhunk3000__markboywonder__david_tull
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Guy cut me off & I shouted, "you are unable to pleasure your wife. OR HUSBAND." Cause he needs to know I'm angry, yet progressive.

    • 618
    • LIKES
    Cpin42Mardigroancwahlzbenicus_rexNeekaDarabGrunkle_Marcmadalyn___wnthonyswan
    • 271
    • RETWEETS
    MardigroanGrunkle_MarcasssquakeCodonopsis7_DubaucherylandossandosSass_itdubiousgenius
    sleepynarrator
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    *scampers over to ice cream truck*

    Yes, I'll take the SpongeBob who looks like he just opened the Ark of the Covenant, please.

    • 578
    • LIKES
    GirlLunarExplorjcalxndrBrianArruda84abvndbyndwescrawshamanicgreendrdikemanChellie2shoes
    • 268
    • RETWEETS
    jcalxndrFive_ThreeJamie7KellerSeptapusDennyMardigroankimlockhartgamrmywordsTheCodboy
    markboywonder__
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    "Whoa, a lady eating a banana. Sexy. I enjoy having segments of my dick bitten off & chewed, so this is a huge turn-on for me."

    • 555
    • LIKES
    write2sarahReallyfamoussJediMasterJamsJane_MitchillQuanty_JMDthrice12TaylorKaygoodhairperson
    • 201
    • RETWEETS
    write2sarahJane_MitchillQuanty_JIts_Miss_Rissgoodhairpersonk8_sandersrifaatfakihWeirdTitter
    LeeMifsud
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Well, honey, sometimes "leading a guy on" is just "being vaguely polite so he doesn't axe-murder us on the way to our car."

    • 459
    • LIKES
    Cpin42emeliemcflyELofvbenicus_rexk_daggerswepuffhddovichjuliastopp
    • 256
    • RETWEETS
    cwahlzrafasnchzzwinchlester_TrashLowtherhddovichLadyRavenwolfespacenerdzPurpleCatfood
    dreamthievin
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    I flip off your cat when you're out of the room.

    • 396
    • LIKES
    Cpin42LoriCalhounMardigroanTheDairylandDonbenicus_rexMinusCDPlusBlindDefSlimthatdutchperson
    • 163
    • RETWEETS
    MardigroanDavidLHelmsBlindDefSlimJohnBechardsmirknmerknthrill713majikmike07Zombie_Kitv2
    TheCatWhisprerdavidbryant1
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Can anyone tell me why so many chicken nuggets are shaped like baby socks?

    • 374
    • LIKES
    benicus_rexMinusCDPlusdreamthievinraventhoughttheevilwritercarscrosslooberbieevanecclestone
    • 126
    • RETWEETS
    gpb1979thatdutchpersonmurt_turtNicole39077483bhollrxWheelTodrevengevoodoo__LADaddy
    markboywonder__5hael
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    *has mood swing*: "I'm so bipolar!"

    *cleans kitchen*: "I've got OCD!"

    *trivializes mental disorders*: "Tee hee!"

    • 292
    • LIKES
    cwahlzmrs_lauramarieChi_D_Johnson1226gillyjpgMadCluckbenicus_rexdreamthievin
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    cwahlzthestarbanditSoMakeItHailChi_D_TaylorAshley327luly_te_quieregillyjpgbenicus_rex
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself.

    • 252
    • LIKES
    Cpin42LoriCalhounMardigroanbenicus_rexfindmydollsMinusCDPlusdreamthievinSDPlissken1
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    MardigroanFavstar250bujully__mymakerschild15kathyshererBarryVonAwesomeballeronabidetshutupkerrigan
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    My bee allergy is very real; my fear that they will clobber me as a giant swarm fist is strictly cartoon-based.

    • 263
    • LIKES
    Cpin42TheDairylandDonbenicus_rexfindmydollsdreamthievinescamuelHatfieldAnnewritingeekery
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    HatfieldAnneaeding39QamaludeenVeroniKaboomthatdutchpersonthrill713WheelTodBarryVonAwesome
    Home_HalfwayRocketRankoon
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    "Honey, you didn't make typewriter noises eating corn on the cob at dinner. Everything OK?"

    *pouts, flops facedown on bed* BOYS SUCK, MOM.

    • 263
    • LIKES
    SeptapusDennydouchehbaghDanimp29rmecheeyaFaerieGlamourspiderlou2099FuckabillyRexbenicus_rex
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    FuckabillyRexMardigroanmynightsideZombie_Kitv2Favstar250danhunter02ThunderLark__chang_koo
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    How much for the dehydrated umbilical cord, my good man?

    "That's black licorice..."

    Gross, never mind.

    • 234
    • LIKES
    benicus_rexMinusCDPlusdreamthievinhatehugcourtneycolsMayhem_MonicasuprememareeDilemmaEmmaEmma
    • 83
    • RETWEETS
    thefacedotcomKatLizBellphilthy0philTheAbyssOfWhoajessokfinefinancechargesmirknmerknthrill713
    markboywonder__Fingers_of_Fury
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Which body type are you? Pear? Apple? *gets real close, like right in your face* I'm a potato.

    • 230
    • LIKES
    benicus_rexfindmydollsMinusCDPlusthatdutchpersonhatehugthrill713HShep101616ThePocketJustin
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    kathyshererzarascottioseamussaidWheelTodTomE83_bornmiserableKendraC93Zombie_Kitv2
    ItsMePonyBoy
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    When the humidity fogs up my glasses, I like to go "HUBBA HUBBA" to no one in particular.

    • 234
    • LIKES
    Cpin42trillablehourspunmagnatebornmiserabletongueprintBandersnaaatchkrakburgerdorsalstream
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    bornmiserableseethenareDavidLHelmsMistressOfOztoomanytoesalexjrassicgive_meSAMmoremccoydotphoto
    KidBeatnixLilBlackRncloud
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Sorry. Can't come in today. Shower felt too much like a hug.

    • 223
    • LIKES
    benicus_rexMinusCDPlusdreamthievinhatehugkathyshererthrill713WheelTodBarryVonAwesome
    • 83
    • RETWEETS
    MinusCDPlusbornmiserableEmpyreatricsMuSuBi19rachelle_mandiksixftbellemidnitesocliv_ec_
@MrsTomServo

@MrsTomServo

A violent & sexually deranged being from the fourth dimension.

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