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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Gift @MrsTomServo Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 1,542
    • FAVS
    jane_botBackBayBubblyclarerudaymavisritafarrowDominicStrawHuajatollaChicIwriteforcatssalamingia
    • 948
    • RETWEETS
    ms_ladyleoPallymigoBackBayBubblyseano1MonoShercyDominicStrawHuajatollaChicsalamingia
    Fingers_of_Fury
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Tip: talk to people who make you Google things.

    • 900
    • FAVS
    hatehugRelloDaRebelyagirlaimzMIKALIRIKAblondetaylor13KatarinaFowilliamwantonmmraisins
    • 635
    • RETWEETS
    yagirlaimzOptimumNaturaeJazzy_Snazz_7dopamineaCreoleMothoni_Ndeshi_Mthrill713
    Prof_Peejay
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Sorry I got confused & grabbed your fist bump like a doorknob.

    • 900
    • FAVS
    NostradamAssHathatehugscott_towelPennyandPaperjosiespeaksCarlaFinchbarkingtreesNone4MeThanx
    • 363
    • RETWEETS
    hatehugPennyandPaperCarlaFinchbarkingtreesNone4MeThanxAmelia_DrawsNdeshi_Mthrill713
    brennadineCpin42findmydolls
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Don't ever worry that you don't have a life. There are people who write hate mail to potato chip companies. You're probably doin' all right.

    • 777
    • FAVS
    hatehugbarkingtreesNone4MeThanxNdeshi_MMissVeganKylieBigCPDXRaul956tokenchick13
    • 402
    • RETWEETS
    bujullybarkingtreesNone4MeThanxNdeshi_MkathyshererFredmanducat_riotSinghSunnyM
    markboywonder__CertifiablySanejd0ugh__
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    I have this nightmare where people are quoting Mel Brooks movies, but my mouth is too full of sandwich to join in.

    • 658
    • FAVS
    hatehugtipsytessamotionlesskitt1islandrhythmzNone4MeThanxNdeshi_Mthrill713chang_koo
    • 287
    • RETWEETS
    islandrhythmzNdeshi_Mthrill713LADaddyBarryVonAwesomeISOremarkablesmchonech_PBody__
    Thunderhunk3000markboywonder__david_tull
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    *scampers over to ice cream truck*

    Yes, I'll take the SpongeBob who looks like he just opened the Ark of the Covenant, please.

    • 570
    • FAVS
    riley_foxhatehugntpattockNone4MeThanxgawdaimeeNdeshi_Mthrill713princess_nope
    • 259
    • RETWEETS
    hatehugKatLizBellNone4MeThanxNdeshi_MZD0LLAHthrill713Nineball54AlliNJohnson
    markboywonder__
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Jimmy Fallon always looks like he's waiting for you to open a gift he's convinced you'll absolutely love.

    • 557
    • FAVS
    StefanNotStevenJimEdwardsnyclvcyintheskytilleytasticreviousChrisMillhousemcwoodyKris10_Kent
    • 245
    • RETWEETS
    callieperkins_irmalovesyouJimEdwardsnyclex_thomplvcyintheskytilleytasticBrendanFerrarimharvey816
    SonofConway
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Guy cut me off & I shouted, "you are unable to pleasure your wife. OR HUSBAND." Cause he needs to know I'm angry, yet progressive.

    • 545
    • FAVS
    HaveALittleFathPorntrumpetMichael1979MsPufflinghatehuglillianpicklekaptainshitshowhippocroteez
    • 223
    • RETWEETS
    andy_pattisonPorntrumpetMintyBaubleskaptainshitshowthrill713SacamanoBmccomiskey_financecharge
    sleepynarrator
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    "Whoa, a lady eating a banana. Sexy. I enjoy having segments of my dick bitten off & chewed, so this is a huge turn-on for me."

    • 458
    • FAVS
    IrvingKimberleybethp1387SalemKittiehairymisandristVocabuLarryLizHackettbreathingpoemsLMFOFL
    • 158
    • RETWEETS
    freqnicLMFOFLJosh_MairJedZigglerpseudo_fredeluna333Eloweezemattallt
    LeeMifsud
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    I flip off your cat when you're out of the room.

    • 389
    • FAVS
    hatehughippocroteezJohnBechardthrill713ShanehasabeardBarryVonAwesome6Shamrock8tiReynard
    • 160
    • RETWEETS
    JohnBechardmmraisinsthrill713majikmike07Zombie_Kitv2tiReynardUxorious11bsnc64
    TheCatWhisprerdavidbryant1
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Can anyone tell me why so many chicken nuggets are shaped like baby socks?

    • 365
    • FAVS
    auntbeastiehatehugthrill713Shanehasabeardmrskelseylaverymariadishappymurt_turtSuperNovaLRD
    • 124
    • RETWEETS
    murt_turtNicole39077483bhollrxWheelTodgypsygyreLADaddyTeeJayRushScorpionDong
    markboywonder__5hael
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    *has mood swing*: "I'm so bipolar!"

    *cleans kitchen*: "I've got OCD!"

    *trivializes mental disorders*: "Tee hee!"

    • 282
    • FAVS
    cloudrivalAliciaHawkesriley_foxKevinSussmanalain_hardyMattwilliams818puretrashcanjaynecomplains
    • 142
    • RETWEETS
    Mattwilliams818puretrashcanDickScurvyrachelle_mandikUsraElMadhouniamomarhamadehJohn_L_Toddsaladinitani
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Well, honey, sometimes "leading a guy on" is just "being vaguely polite so he doesn't axe-murder us on the way to our car."

    • 279
    • FAVS
    Zombie_Kitv2sixpoundhamsterbujullyhatehugfoggymustacheFingers_of_FurySmug_LemurHome_Halfway
    • 126
    • RETWEETS
    TheErsatzEmilybujullySophicSirenkatelynankneyfleshbloodmagicrachelle_mandikjdanleemrsbshi
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself.

    • 246
    • FAVS
    bujullyhatehugashleyklejnathrill713WheelTodParrtyCatBarryVonAwesomestephenjmolloy
    • 104
    • RETWEETS
    bujullyGraceRauscher15kathyshererBarryVonAwesomeballeronabidetshutupkerriganewfeez_Sibongile_S
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    My bee allergy is very real; my fear that they will clobber me as a giant swarm fist is strictly cartoon-based.

    • 253
    • FAVS
    hatehugmmraisinsthrill713ShanehasabeardmariadishappyWheelTodBarryVonAwesomeSteveKoehler22
    • 77
    • RETWEETS
    thrill713WheelTodBarryVonAwesomeSteveKoehler22nevesytrofbornmiserableleonardthewizjohntr
    Home_HalfwayRocketRankoon
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    How much for the dehydrated umbilical cord, my good man?

    "That's black licorice..."

    Gross, never mind.

    • 231
    • FAVS
    hatehugcourtneycolsMayhem_MonicasuprememareeDilemmaEmmaEmmaFeralCronecommuter_haikutechagent
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    KatLizBellphilthy0philTheAbyssOfWhoajessokfinefinancechargemmraisinsthrill713caruso72
    markboywonder__Fingers_of_Fury
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Which body type are you? Pear? Apple? *gets real close, like right in your face* I'm a potato.

    • 226
    • FAVS
    hatehugthrill713HShep101616WHEREISWALTJNRHatfieldAnnecitizenrobotplathian9__BUNCHofSTEVE
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    kathyshererzarascottioseamussaidWheelTodTomE83_bornmiserableKendraC93Zombie_Kitv2
    ItsMePonyBoy
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Sorry. Can't come in today. Shower felt too much like a hug.

    • 220
    • FAVS
    hatehugkathyshererthrill713WheelTodBarryVonAwesomeScorpionDongmariokeypartywalruslifestyle
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    bornmiserableEmpyreatricsMuSuBi19rachelle_mandikmichiamoalimidnitesocliv_ec_atk_Amandation
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    So basically, all our pets have Stockholm syndrome, right?

    • 228
    • FAVS
    hatehugthrill713ShanehasabeardWheelTodBarryVonAwesomemariokeypartyitshotterherezarascottio
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    Rydog57BarryVonAwesomeitshotterhereSteveKoehler22ohhowunorthodoxwalruslifestylebornmiserableMockingCher_20
    PartySlicing
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    I don't think I've ever had a panic attack... *looks up panic attack symptoms* OH. Ha Yeah. I've had, like, a hundred of those.

    • 224
    • FAVS
    hatehugthrill713ShanehasabeardWheelTodBarryVonAwesomeCackleClubymas_jemamandajpanda
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    thrill713bethkellayTomE83__Strumpet_bornmiserableMockingCher_20TheRealRHBSilverBadger
    BookisherBunny
@MrsTomServo

@MrsTomServo

Charmingly compact, yet radically crisp & refreshing.

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