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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Gift @MrsTomServo Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 1,556
    • FAVS
    zarascottioRichyCraillottakiiihlberggrandmar11143LamontCranstonnjayscarbluepiggyfeatherrecklssprincss
    • 954
    • RETWEETS
    GomezWritesgrandmar11143curlyhessaSebStrandbergpiggyfeatherTheEliseliseJeffwniBadPrincipessa
    Fingers_of_Fury
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Tip: talk to people who make you Google things.

    • 930
    • FAVS
    millybeesMinusCDPlusbag_ofrocksdreamthievinrayerayemachineamandajpandaGoofyGeminirustygunter
    • 708
    • RETWEETS
    DavidLHelmsParkinsonSuzieninadeoliveirarustygunter83dicesumthinkAAYOOBAriesypiecey
    Prof_Peejay
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Jimmy Fallon always looks like he's waiting for you to open a gift he's convinced you'll absolutely love.

    • 1,074
    • FAVS
    jimandrewsmusicMunieraKmavisritafarrowLewiLewikingKanazBadazzmultipervmcs212ODeadInside
    • 515
    • RETWEETS
    MunieraKDavidLHelmss0y_sauc3ODeadInsideBlindDefSlimillumunathimstud94anytimewilldo
    SufficientCharmSonofConway
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Don't ever worry that you don't have a life. There are people who write hate mail to potato chip companies. You're probably doin' all right.

    • 897
    • FAVS
    kaylub_purryAldereteMaryjimandrewsmusicMinusCDPlusBlindDefSlimdreamthievinsmithonwheelsHatfieldAnne
    • 518
    • RETWEETS
    WaiterNumber3DavidLHelmsBlindDefSlimjuliegeoisdustindddDEPEARCEaxomammaAzizanAfi
    markboywonder__CertifiablySanejd0ugh__
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Sorry I got confused & grabbed your fist bump like a doorknob.

    • 909
    • FAVS
    dreamthievinMinusCDPlusBlindDefSlimLeeEricsonIvsy01sandythecheekReeMURDAMortyDave
    • 367
    • RETWEETS
    Skyelights_efliDavidLHelmsBlindDefSlimbradgearonmrmywordsfuzzlimehatehugPennyandPaper
    brennadineCpin42findmydolls
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    I have this nightmare where people are quoting Mel Brooks movies, but my mouth is too full of sandwich to join in.

    • 664
    • FAVS
    jimandrewsmusicdreamthievinMinusCDPlusBlindDefSlimjustin23000ReeMURDAMirabelleMariemrmywords
    • 291
    • RETWEETS
    DavidLHelmsBlindDefSlimLeeEricsonmrmywordsfuzzlimeislandrhythmzNdeshi_Mthrill713
    Thunderhunk3000__markboywonder__david_tull
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    *scampers over to ice cream truck*

    Yes, I'll take the SpongeBob who looks like he just opened the Ark of the Covenant, please.

    • 573
    • FAVS
    MinusCDPlusmrmywordswriterslockdixonshumanVeroniKaboomtheEKGmachinesimonchollandthatdutchperson
    • 265
    • RETWEETS
    mrmywordsTheCodboycarolinemhuntminkglossVeroniKaboomtheEKGmachinethatdutchpersonhatehug
    markboywonder__
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Guy cut me off & I shouted, "you are unable to pleasure your wife. OR HUSBAND." Cause he needs to know I'm angry, yet progressive.

    • 582
    • FAVS
    MinusCDPluschrisheadhunterBlindDefSlimBoonieKanebeetlejuicexoxonickrawlsshannshaannRoyBatty_Jr
    • 241
    • RETWEETS
    BlindDefSlimrosalyncnishannshaannRoyBatty_JrStrawdocberriesGrimLady013dreamthievinSOproDads
    sleepynarrator
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    "Whoa, a lady eating a banana. Sexy. I enjoy having segments of my dick bitten off & chewed, so this is a huge turn-on for me."

    • 461
    • FAVS
    MinusCDPlusdreamthievinmrmywordsIrvingKimberleybethp1387SalemKittiehairymisandristVocabuLarry
    • 159
    • RETWEETS
    mrmywordsfreqnicLMFOFLJosh_MairJedZigglerpseudo_fredeluna333Eloweeze
    LeeMifsud
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Well, honey, sometimes "leading a guy on" is just "being vaguely polite so he doesn't axe-murder us on the way to our car."

    • 372
    • FAVS
    CrumbleNeedyAliciaHawkessteffjeffersonEllieVerdonSilverMillsy80sembersmondolaringertypinggloves
    • 188
    • RETWEETS
    AllisonWyssSilverMillsyThe_MangaquoterKatraHigherAlvaFrostanderdenisehftwasleepinadreamJuliaAnderss0n
    dreamthievin
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    I flip off your cat when you're out of the room.

    • 392
    • FAVS
    MinusCDPlusBlindDefSlimthatdutchpersonhatehughippocroteezJohnBechardthrill713Shanehasabeard
    • 162
    • RETWEETS
    DavidLHelmsBlindDefSlimJohnBechardsmirknmerknthrill713majikmike07Zombie_Kitv2tiReynard
    TheCatWhisprerdavidbryant1
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Can anyone tell me why so many chicken nuggets are shaped like baby socks?

    • 373
    • FAVS
    MinusCDPlusdreamthievinraventhoughttheevilwritercarscrosslooberbieevanecclestonethatdutchperson
    • 126
    • RETWEETS
    gpb1979thatdutchpersonmurt_turtNicole39077483bhollrxWheelTodgypsygyreLADaddy
    markboywonder__5hael
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    *has mood swing*: "I'm so bipolar!"

    *cleans kitchen*: "I've got OCD!"

    *trivializes mental disorders*: "Tee hee!"

    • 291
    • FAVS
    dreamthievinbbcatppbribrimeowtheevilwritercarscrosDesignerTylervmacnminkgloss
    • 149
    • RETWEETS
    DavidLHelmsNithyushaCbribrimeowminkglossTheLouScannonmoltmanthatdutchpersonMattwilliams818__
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself.

    • 248
    • FAVS
    MinusCDPlusdreamthievinSDPlissken1bujullyhatehugashleyklejnathrill713WheelTod
    • 104
    • RETWEETS
    bujullyGraceRauscher15kathyshererBarryVonAwesomeballeronabidetshutupkerriganewfeez_Sibongile_S
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    My bee allergy is very real; my fear that they will clobber me as a giant swarm fist is strictly cartoon-based.

    • 260
    • FAVS
    dreamthievinescamuelHatfieldAnnewritingeekeryaeding39VeroniKaboomthatdutchpersonhatehug
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    HatfieldAnneaeding39QamaludeenVeroniKaboomthatdutchpersonthrill713WheelTodBarryVonAwesome
    Home_HalfwayRocketRankoon
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    How much for the dehydrated umbilical cord, my good man?

    "That's black licorice..."

    Gross, never mind.

    • 233
    • FAVS
    MinusCDPlusdreamthievinhatehugcourtneycolsMayhem_MonicasuprememareeDilemmaEmmaEmmaFeralCrone
    • 83
    • RETWEETS
    thefacedotcomKatLizBellphilthy0philTheAbyssOfWhoajessokfinefinancechargesmirknmerknthrill713
    markboywonder__Fingers_of_Fury
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Which body type are you? Pear? Apple? *gets real close, like right in your face* I'm a potato.

    • 228
    • FAVS
    MinusCDPlusthatdutchpersonhatehugthrill713HShep101616WHEREISWALTJNRHatfieldAnnecitizenrobot
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    kathyshererzarascottioseamussaidWheelTodTomE83_bornmiserableKendraC93Zombie_Kitv2
    ItsMePonyBoy
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    Sorry. Can't come in today. Shower felt too much like a hug.

    • 222
    • FAVS
    MinusCDPlusdreamthievinhatehugkathyshererthrill713WheelTodBarryVonAwesomeScorpionDong
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    bornmiserableEmpyreatricsMuSuBi19rachelle_mandikmichiamoalimidnitesocliv_ec__Amandation
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    So basically, all our pets have Stockholm syndrome, right?

    • 232
    • FAVS
    MinusCDPlusFluffyCakeWhoreHatfieldAnnethatdutchpersonhatehugthrill713ShanehasabeardWheelTod
    • 70
    • RETWEETS
    beam969FluffyCakeWhoreHatfieldAnneRydog57BarryVonAwesomeitshotterhereSteveKoehler22ohhowunorthodox
    PartySlicing
  • MrsTomServo
      Abby Normal @MrsTomServo

    "Honey, you didn't make typewriter noises eating corn on the cob at dinner. Everything OK?"

    *pouts, flops facedown on bed* BOYS SUCK, MOM.

    • 244
    • FAVS
    gothicaseaschang_koosnikrepyentruocatanenhausLizHackettkatdepaduaAldousPooleyoukierunrunrun
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    chang_koomichelleacogidoGumpySarabikatrina157raycholebunnywessidekochkrewconorconconor_smendahs_
@MrsTomServo

@MrsTomServo

Charmingly compact, yet radically crisp & refreshing.

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