I love my mom in law...her son's an ass, but she is one hell of a lady.

On the ferris wheel... My kid keeps yelling, "We're gonna die!!" while laughing...others are NOT amused :)

Goodnight to you and you and you...and especially you.

Never underestimate bribery as a parenting tool.

Patient in burka, only speaks Arabic, underneath her burka... A tshirt that says, "Two boyfriends are better than one!" Made my day:)

Sometimes...
I walk around my apartment with my parrot squawking on my shoulder while I pretend I’m Khaleesi and she is my baby dragon.

If I give you my phone to look at a pic....DO NOT SCROLL!!!!!

I actually delivered a baby that they named "Jayonce" #JayonceBabyNames

Yikes, my body hurts!! That bike riding kicked my ass.

I may or may not be going to buy pretty underwear. A little "To me, Love, me" present.

I just really want today to be over.

Put my cell phone between my boobs on vibrate while my guy texts me. #motorboat

My mom:"Do you have a lover? You're on the phone smiling like you have a lover." Me:"umm, Twitter?" Mom:"That is a stupid name for a lover."

Hmmm... Hubby is not talking to me. I wonder what he found out.

Bronx sunset from labor room 4 http://t.co/6zBcc0Z3

I am officially never allowed to drink again. The amount of "intoxitexting" that will occur, will not be pretty. #disasterpreparedness

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Fuckity fuck, fuck fuck. #thatisall

I got business cards. Finally. After TEN years of working here! So. Fucking. Excited. Who wants one?! :)

FYI, my bird is nibbling on my ear. This is way more action than I have gotten in ages.

This is great! RT @littleanimation: My First Day on GOOGLE+ →http://t.co/wqJXSV2 #UsGuys #socialmedia RT and +1...if you dare.