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@betfairpoker TV IDEA: 'Colander'. Kenneth Branagh stars as a gloomy detective constantly irked by people trying to strain veg through him.
“@idillionaire: If you watch Jaws backwards, it's about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.” via @bestgav
“@rachelorange1: Ceefax is no more, but raged against the machine as she went: pic.twitter.com/Kh9rv5RI” via @houseofgubbins
Thish >“@bigtamconnery: Them >>> RT @elinlowri: “@amateuradam: "People who say 'This.' at the end of tweets. Them." That.” <<This.”
“@shotbykim: I HAVE REACHED THE END OF THE INTERNET AND FOUND THE BEST GIF I'VE EVER SEEN http://i.imgur.com/qeKLbqy.gif ” via @themichaelmoran
RT “@megrosoff: She didn't like him one bit, blah blah blah blah, finally did. #12wordnovels” via @matthaig1
“@redrummy: Please tell me I’m the first one to do Lego #Eastwooding. http://t.co/DFjxTSU4” via @samiraahmeduk
@professorunwin @john_ranson And Pancale Tuesloder imminole - all flippity floppit in the frying paddle and 'Pass the lemole and sugarly'.
“@ibogost: I have Instagrammed
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for tumblr”
via @socialtechno
“@barnabyedwards: Well, if you will try to build a sandcastle on the shores of Loch Ness... pic.twitter.com/Xrt5PmtS5C” via @bookingaround
Sorry to keep going on about Lidl, but their fruit and marzipan-filled chocolate 'coins' are delectable. Cherry, apricot or plum flavour.
Tomorrow, with the leftover mothers, we could also make mummy-and-squeak. #MothersDay
“@culturalsnow: New #UKIP slogan: "We're like the Tories but all of us hate poofs and foreigners, not just some of us."” via @john_self
@gary_bainbridge Competition seems to have given us lots of crap providers instead of just one middlingly irritating one.
“@trudski2012: The Greek government have halted production of hummous and taramasalata...it's a double dip recession.” via @sourdust
Stats can't be shown as @MsLupin has never signed in to Favstar.