This whole twitter thing is great.
You can make people a million miles away laugh & smile....
...while you quietly sit in a dark room & cry.

Two broken people will either fit together perfectly, or fucking destroy each other beyond repair.

Sex is great.
But it's never as amazing as being made love to, then fucked to the point of exhaustion by someone who's madly in love w/ you.

The Stages of Breakup:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Drinking
4. Fucking Random Strangers
5. Passing out in Target drunk
6. Stabbing Ex with a spork

Girls want to be treated like a princess every day.
But guys want their dicks sucked.
So the dilemma is being princess-y while sucking dick.

My vagina is a lot like the Lochness Monster. Only a rare few have actually seen it up close, but those who have, have been fucking amazed.

An amazing connection with an amazing person is not easy to find.

If and when you do find it, why would you ever fuck it up?

Some only have conversations here.
Some joke.
And some tweet out their pain.
Don't judge.
As long as you hurt no one, you're doing it right.

I love finding a new person to follow & then finding 38 other funny people that THEY follow & now we're all doing shots naked in a hot tub.

Honestly, I don't care about stars or RT's, because I'm just so fucking relieved I finally have a place where I can share my inner thoughts.

Sometimes I star & RT tweets b/c that person starred & RT'd my tweet b/c they RT'd me so should RT them. It's very complicated.-me to my dog

If a man really, really loves you, he should be able to read your fucking mind.

People who are hurting and alone, rarely ask for help.

If they do, you know it's because they truly need you.

Please don't turn your back.

If you're my friend, I'll do anything for you.
If you're my love, I'll turn my world upside down for you.
If you deceive me, you don't exist

Tell her she's pretty.
Always show her respect.
Hold her hand.
Hug her a lot.
Kiss her like it's your last day on fucking earth.
See? Simple

In order to find the right person, you have to be the right person.

I always follow small accounts.

Because just yesterday, I was a small account & no one wanted to follow me.

And that's why I'm in therapy.

Love Poem to My Dearest:

Sometimes you make me laugh
Sometimes you make me weep,
I hope I don't accidentally
Kill you in your sleep.

xoxox

If I had a penis, I'm 98% sure I'd want my GF to touch it, suck it, straddle it & ride it like an out-of-control wild pony every damn night.

There's a million hot guys & a million hot bodies.

But if you want to turn me on, open up & talk to me. Make me fall in love w/ your mind.