I'd also like to point out that there was a car bomb that killed 25 in Iraq and another slaughter in Somalia. Pray for everyone/just Boston?

Clearly, the real winners tonight are the people of Colorado.

I love when ppl post and like famous ppl quotes of ordinary advice. "Don't let people hurt you." -Marilyn Monroe OMGGG SHE'S SO SMARTTTT

Accidentally drunkenly friended a chick on FB last night. She accepted today. I deleted her. #Boss

I turn to Twitter to laugh at stuff that's actually funny. I turn to Facebook to laugh at people's dumb opinions and life events.

I also hope most of the Michigan girl fans conceive unwanted babies tonight. #SoreLoser

Have you posted your most recent baby ultrasound picture to Facebook yet today? If not, make sure you upload asap! #LoveSeeingYourUterus!

What's up fuckers? Everyone getting laid tonight or what?

I think a permanent tat of an analog wrist watch that shows 5 o'clock on it would be pretty cool.

I think I might actually give a fuck.

#UKnowUHungryWhen you make a sandwich with the end-slices of bread.

Fucking a, bills on bills on bills. Wallet just got bent over with no lube.

"Everyone make sure to get your Women's NCAA brackets filled out soon." -Nobody

Cuse blew this game harder than a seasoned bj.

So when are we changing it to The Gulf of America?

Make guns harder to get and crime will stop. Like with cocaine, heroine, and marijauna. Right guys? #StatisticallySpeaking #Moderate

I've got a nice bulge today if any ladies wanna come over and take a nice lap nap. #ThoughtfulGentleman

I've noticed when the clock strikes 6:07 for the third day in a row. Home is calling my name. #607

Walking Dead tonight. *gets massive erection*

Wellp. Here's a picture before I blackout.  http://instagr.am/p/RQ7CIVQ73u/