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You say keepsake.
I say dust, carry, store, restore, collect and finally throw away.
Youngest must be scared tonight. If he was any closer to me in bed I'd have to rebirth him in the morning before taking him to camp.
Grandma's yelling at the Wii Fit. "I just quit smoking you asshole!"
I no longer call my kid to come to me. Instead I unplug the router and she comes running.
What was I working on again?
Hell has no fury like a woman sconeless.
Wake me up when the Harlem Shake's over. Tomorrow at six, yes?
Me: finish your project and go to bed.
Me: Repeat back to me what I just said.
Son: You said I should listen better?
Looking at my kid coloring a picture and hoping he is colorblind.
Access to outlets a reason for students to leave laptops at home.
We're setting up a Microsoft Surface today at the Center for Teaching, Learning, and Tech at University of Richmond.
Happy to see a sports car with handicapped (hate that word) license plates. Walk slow, drive fast.
I'm ready for an opt out of the Google background. There needs to be an Old Fart button. #google
This month needs more Tigger and less Eeyore.
Looks like Frozen Lunch Day at work. Khaki Day is also today. I never get it right.
Son: I want to get a booger from booger king. Me: I'm not that hungry anymore.
Twitter needs a dog park.
Me to kid: Are your pants dry? Kid: They are now. They drieded.
In case of fire yell "ICE CREAM MAN!"