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Went to wing night tonight, had a great time except for that douche from work showing up and causing a scen.... ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
BP should really consult your mom. Boy does she know how to get a giant hole filled.
I'm on the Taco Bell diet. Cheesy Double Beef burrito for lunch and I shit my brains out, letting me eat anything I want the rest of the day
about to pass out on the floor hugging the dog, with a mascara wand in one hand and bottle of ketchup in the other. i dont know why, either.
At Dunkin Donuts this morning i was behind a 400-ish pound woman who was ordering an XL coffee "Extra EXTRA light, and EXTRA EXTRA sweet".
my internet photo policy: don't post anything that may lead to either loss of employment or offers for employment.
One of my patients -I went to the gynecologist today. She told me I need to brush and floss more. Me- Wrong End. Him - I mean HYGIENIST!!
Why does Thursday feel like Monday? Oh, right. You suck Thursday. Next time, try to be Friday.
This morning I asked rhetorically, why this shit always happens to me, hubs responded "Because you've got fat thighs" That's right ladies.
Volunteered to go into work on my day off. What the fuck is wrong with me?! I mean, of course, aside from the booze, pills, immaturity, etc
If you've got one foot in yesterday and the other foot in tomorrow, you're pissing on today.
i've got junk in my trunk. and vicodin in my bloodstream.
How much is life allowed to screw you before it leaves you a $100 on the nightstand? Cuz, you know, I'm getting chaffed.
will somebody throw me a freakin star already?!
I made a bologna & cheese sandwich using potato chips to shovel it in my mouth instead of bread. I guess that wasn't really a sandwich...
I turned down sex last night *ducks*. Wow, who knew you guys would take it so poorly.
MIL just died at 54. it wasn't a surprise, she'd been in poor health as result of smoking/drinking/pills... oh shit
Farmer's Almanac is predicting a cold winter. Gotta be true cuz squirrels are gathering nuts. Three of my friends have already disappeared.
The ice age #ObamasFault
not only am i back, i've lost >45lbs. god those gallstones were totally worth it.