I wish someone missed me.

Imagine a group of alphas standing around getting pumped up 4 th game, &"Air Supply" "All Out of Love"comes out of my iTunes shuffle Akward!

Besides sushi is there really anything better than a burrito!? Maybe pizza. Oh and blow jobs... Those r cool.

The worst thing about twitter is when you unfollowed someone and someone that you are following keeps re-tweeting their tweets

Serious. Don't take anything I say seriously. Unless I am really being serious! Assholes!

So I just made a bet with myself that I can go 2 weeks without masturbating. Can we get a twitter spread pool going?

Does anyone else feel like they're probably going to be alone forever?

Love is the most powerful word we have, but be aware of its meaning. It is offend misused a distorted. Love is what we r without conditions!

I feel like drinking wine tonight but I think it will make me look like a big pussy Sipping my wine holding the stem wit my pinky in the air

I get off probation today after 3 yrs. time to get drunk and make some bad decisions!

I'm watching a Bob Marley documentary, while not smoking weed. This feels wrong!

It's sad that I have bigger tits than any of the woman gymnast or beach volleyball players!

Wow MCA died!:(

Right after they go in to the rocken roll hall of fame!! Lame!!

Part of my childhood! RIP dude!

I like getting high with u guys!

I fell in love with baked potato... And then I started to dance.

If u studied martial arts and learned how to fight and learned some respect u pussies wouldnt need guns Put that down & watch me kick ur ass

I think it's official that I am never getting laid again! Good thing I am a talented masturbator! An aficionado really!

It sucks when I'm trying to cut weight and I run into pizza and beer.
#fatboyonadietdonttryit

@karencreets


The English have a word for horrendous bar sloths. They call'em SLAGS. Try it on. I love it!

My mom is the old crazy cat lady, but with pitbull's. pic.twitter.com/QAr437Mep6