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Where is the cocaine emoji?
My biggest pet peeve is when people exclaim their pet peeves. My second pet peeves is hypocrites. A close third is paradoxes.
Everyone at Ironwood looks like they just walked out of a Niki Minaj concert.
Dear girls who want to cut your hair short, resist the urge.
I have an uneasy and sudden urge to go mini golfing.
The real tragedy of my cat dying was trying to fit him down the toilet.
My goal tonight is to take a picture with every single person attending Ironwood's prom.
GET HOME GET NAKED
High school is almost over for me and it's truly a bitter sweet moment, except without the bitterness.
A girl was hitting on me and asked for my number once, and a friend told me to give her a fake one so I told her sixty gazillion.
Smoothies are like moose shit, because if you re-arrange the letters in mooseshit, you get... smoothies.