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I am stunned by the lack of professionalism at my job. If you have any job openings please forward them to me at pen15weedking69@gmail.com
Hey thanks for adding the "Hussein", I wasn't sure which President Barack Obama you were talking about
"I think I'll just stay in and have pizza hut deliver me a diet Pepsi" he texted, moments before turning the gun on himself
I'm hoping his new reality tv appearance will send @paul_shotwell on the fast track from open micer to boat hack #inspiring
@nikkiglaser you were great at the stand last night! Hilarious set, me and my girlfriend wish we could have had some beers with ya
Dating tip: guys, make sure to text her back IMMEDIATELY when texting since you know she's by her phone. Women love availability!
Spent yesterday loving America! Then I saw a guy at the pool with a NorthFace tattoo, now I'm kinda whatever about it
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