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Dear gatorade, what the hell is "frost cascade crash" suppose to taste like?
Just used my range finder to scope out a hottie from 2 holes away
Whoops i might have laid out too long
I hope south park does a gun control episode with the rednecks yelling DEY TOOK RRR GUNS
The nice thing about going bald is that strangers dont realize im only 23 and should be in much better shape
Why dont snapchats make a noise when you get one, and more importantly why isnt that noise "OH SNAP!"?
HE DID IT! HE FINALLY DID IT! My dad just compared drunk driving to my golf swing. Bravo larry
When will miller lite realise that changing their bottle wont make their beer less shitty
Literally not one boob on the snapchat mardi gras story. Waste of my goddamn time
6 shots of fireball please! *fall out boy voice* line em up up up *takes all 6* IM ON FIIIRREEE
Opinions are like assholes, i dont have one
I gor taco bell fire sauce in an open shaving wound and now i have super powers
Im playing golf with a 40 year old man who hasnt drank since the last time he got alcohol poisoning, which he said was the 7th grade
*finds rotted corpse in jimmy buffet restaurant*
I guess you could say he was
*puts on sunglasses*
Wasting away in margaritaville
Clouds are natures rorschach tests
Guys this is a big moment for me: after alot of drunken song playing i am finally the house dj at duckys lagoon! Wooo!!! 🎉🎊🎈🎊🎉
Snow days are cool but you know whats better? EVERY FUCKING DAY OF SUMMER
Signs i may be an alcoholic: 1) i got mad the bar closed at midnight on a monday. 2) i have a beer koozie collection...in my car
Try not to fall in love with me
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