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Catching your spouse watching Cougar Town is grounds for an annulment, right?
I like to tell myself Americans would never elect Sarah Palin, but then I remember George W Bush.
I dreamt someone asked me "Ooh, who did your receding hairline?", as if it were a haircut I requested.
Don't ask your coworker why they had a doctors appointment because it might be about their private parts.
Argh, my dog's health insurance premiums went up again. #FirstWorldProblems
I want you to be my Tauntaun. #WorstPickUpLines