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Every guy who's come in to use the urinal while I've been on the pot has breathed really heavily. I guess my poop just smells that good.
I don't have periods. RT @saharwhy: Raise your hand if you don't want to go to apush next period *raises hand*
He provides companionship? RT @77stephanieg77: What's the point of having a pet zombie if he won't eat people on command?
I got a garden tool, hired a hooker, and had her use it to till up the soil in my garden. I was then able to say I was having a ho hoe.