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I hate racism almost as much as I hate crackers.
I am Jack's uncontrolled shrinkage.
Every guy who's come in to use the urinal while I've been on the pot has breathed really heavily. I guess my poop just smells that good.
Where's the take-back-everything-I've-ever-said-wrong button?
All of my sentences are female because they have periods.
Happy Turkey Day! Today is they day Turkey gained its Indy Pendants.
I got a garden tool, hired a hooker, and had her use it to till up the soil in my garden. I was then able to say I was having a ho hoe.
Nobody doesn't think Sara Lee's a MILF.
Dean Martin walked into a bar. And never came out.
Tigers make good house pets, don't they? I hope so.
Happy Chinese New Year.
Happy Memorial Day?
I suck at this.
Happy Labor Day.
I'm pretty naive.
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