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Squirt 2, Clit 1. I'd say that's a mildly satisfactory evening! I could get used to this unemployment!
I don't think dryers eat socks. I'd run away too if someone used me as a jerk sock.
I removed batteries from my vibrator for my kid's dream light so feel free to nominate me for mother of the year!
#duringsexplease get rough! Fuck my face, smack my ass when you're pounding it & put your hands on my neck! Mmmmmmm
Am I alone in my love of licking & sucking taints and tonguing asses? Mmmmmmmm
I bought a new Subaru Outback today & suddenly feel the urge to let my Brazilian grow out.
I got a job today and suddenly I feel like I don't have anything in common w/ half of you.
Like most situations, Twitter is best read while naked.
Does anyone wanna lick my fingers clean or do I have to do EVERYTHING myself?
"Cum is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get." - Me, after a mouthful of funky spunk today.
Too many fried onions w/ dinner. I bet when I tongue my man's ass tonight it will improve my breath.
"Heaters gonna heat." - my 7yo baby girl this morning on why she radiates heat at night.
Best news about my MD appt? I lost 6 lbs! The worst? I can't afford my medication. Fucking drug companies can go fuck themselves.
No Shave November? Ish. I hope your men are happy w/ Chewbacca riding their cock. :-/
I don't get why guys on here question girls that love to fuck, suck cock or love anal. The hot bitches r here. Frigid cunts r on FB.
I'm in bed, naked and alone, @ 830 on Friday night. What's missing here?
Had to do a testicular exam today. Told the other nurse "I don't know how to assess unless they're in my mouth". :p
Bitch, u aint the mother of 28 kids. Keeping a kid for a week doesn't make u his mother. U were a extended stay motel at best.
Ran into my ex-husband's heel w/ my grocery cart. Whoopsy daisy! I was not surprised she failed to bleed.
#gourmetdoucheflavors Seafood Bisque