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La Quinta. Spanish for "behind Denny's".
Boy, I wish so hard I was part of an unlikely team of misfits.
Which insane American celebrity are we sending to solve Egypt? I vote Chyna the wrestler.
"I know you need to get up, what time should I set my alarm for?" "October."
I think I have a total of no friends left that aren't pregnant. Congrats, sluts.
Hey, if you're not doing well here in Hollywood, go ahead and give up. We need more parking.
White guy in tactical gear shooting people is gettin real fucking old. Sort your shit out maniacs.
Just woke up to Joan Jett singing on a cheerleading float sponsored by GMC so I guess punk's not dead after all.
I want to take out this whole fucking "family" of Tupperware in my kitchen Game of Thrones style. Lids, you were promised to containers!!
I hate Black Friday so much I won't even buy gas or tampons if I need them. I'd rather sit at home with an old t-shirt shoved down my pants.
Just chased down my cat, in slippers, curlers, and a shirt that says "love at first sight" in French. Eagerly awaiting marriage proposals.
I accidentally threw out my iPhone charger so if you need to get a hold of me, don't.
Oh my. It's so sad. This girl in this bar is on her phone on Twitter.
Ordered #PapaJohns. The kitten stepped in garlic butter sauce. Garlic butter kitten toes. Cute AND delicious.
I don't trust anyone under 86 that tap dances.
When I've made a commercial for pistachios, I'll know I've made it.