Nobody expects you to tweet brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.

This would be a lot less awkward if you just touched it.

Just wanted to say that I love you & you're beautiful & I wasted all our grocery money on the claw grabber machine & here's a purple hippo.

You deserve to be cherished by someone every second of the day, not just when it's convenient to them.

I'd take a Nerf dart for you.

If by twitter crush you mean someone I would travel the world to see, hold, kiss, lick, and create memories with. Then yes, I have one.

3 steps to winning my heart-
1. Intelligence, inner beauty, and confidence.

2. Buy me a trampoline.

3. Buy me a fucking trampoline.

When loneliness strikes, always remember there are people on here who genuinely feel joy when they see your AVI on the timeline.

If someone gives a fuck, regift it.

You know what I love about you guys? You make fun of your flaws, instead of criticizing others for theirs.

Me and Twitter sitting in a tree. P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-N-G.

You know what would really hit the spot right about now? a social life.

Everyday when I drive by the park, I always wanna pull over, shove kids out of the way, and show them how a pro jumps off the swing.

I'm sorry I jumped on you, from a distance you looked like a conclusion.

Being confident in how crazy you are, is sexy.

Your youth officially ends when you willingly choose to untie your shoes before taking them off.

"How does something like that even exist in someon'e brain!?"- Me 99% of the time when I read all your tweets.

Loneliness is the darkest of all emotions. being independent is one thing, but feeling completely alone on this huge planet is truly tragic.

The moment you showed me your personality, that's when I fell for you.

If you think of Twitter as a competition it will spit you out. But If you think of it as a way to have fun! It will swallow :)