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You know the saying: If you see a gun during the first act, tell an usher cuz holy sh*t that's WAY worse than texting.
Please don't have kids just because you can. There are much better reasons to bring a life into this awful world.
I'm basically a cross between Lewis and Booger from Revenge of the Nerds.
I'm old enough to remember having awkward sex on a water bed.
DATING TIP: Pretend like I'm not way too poor for you
I'm not the girl your mom warned you about...
her imagination isn't that good.
Perk of living in the south: driving after dark with the windows down and all you can smell is honeysuckle and night blooming jasmine 💕
Warehouse 13 fans-love & gratitude 4all the support! Remember: 7 great episodes left this season! & 6 more next. Wait! That adds up to 13!
Be kind to a broken woman,
She may turn out to be the perfect puzzle.
a good fairy godmother carries Plan B pills just in case her princess has too many margaritas
Leaving my house while its still dark outside is not ok with me
The world was a better place when people wore glasses to see and not just save their train wreck faces.
I like making you cum
almost better than cumming myself.
If I was dating myself, I would surprise me with alcohol in my juice every morning and it would be adorable.
i like stupid indulgent things. so naturally I'm in love with myself.