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The most important decisions in my life have been made in the wine aisle.
Don't ever invite the "I'm gunna dip my balls in it" guy to a party with a chocolate fountain.
If aliens really do invade I'm not too worried, Daft Punk will save us.
Just ate a movie theater hot dog. Hope I don't shit my pants half way through the movie.
I imagine that the Wizard of Oz scarecrow's favorite song is The Pixies Where Is My Mind.
I don't know about my boyfriends new hobby of moonwalking his way everywhere :/
Charlie Sheen said he was "a rockstar from mars" I guess side effects to copious amounts of cocaine make one believe their Ziggy Stardust.
Its not really #wmc until a car bursts into flames in a McDonalds parking lot! #truestory
The Miami sky is so seapunk.
You know that fuzzy feeling when the world gets a bit blurry & there's a twinkle in your eye? That's when you order another round!
Whenever I'm sad I just think of The Muppets movie.
Weddings always bring out the "why haven't you proposed yet" attitude in me.
I can't believe Michele Bachmann is a serious candidate for presidency, same woman who believes the founding fathers abolished slavery.
Coping with being in my twenties as driven me to wino status.
Why doesn't anyone want to hang out? I swear I don't have cooties.
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