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I've seen Bruce Wayne's parents die about two dozen times now. Why aren't I Batman yet?
Hearing a really good singer live reminds you how pathetically worthless you are and that you've never actually felt a real emotion before.
Typical Fox. Cancelling everything after one season. What's that? This is the ABC? We've been on air for three years? Well good riddance!!
I love The Fifth Element, but where exactly is Gary Oldman head-blood coming from?
Andrew Bolt - “check your tapes” only works if you actually check a tape. Because there was a tape attach to that tweet. Did…did you check?
Put a broken keyboard in the trash last night. It was worthless to me. This morning someone stole it from my bin. I’ll kill them dead.
I’d rather look after your kid than your plant. If I kill the kid at least I won’t have to see your ’Nich, I thought you were an adult’ face
… ABC just ordered a S.H.I.E.L.D. pilot written and directed by Joss Whedon. Holy. Shit.
New Call of Duty is like slipping into a warm bath, then shooting all the rubber duckies while Kevin Spacey sponges your thigh. Or something
If I could go back and tell my 12-year-old self that all the things I loved then are popular now maybe he wouldn't have eaten so much glue.
Showrunner/performer on @TheRoastTV on @ABC2. Games. Comics. Bill Paxton.