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I love The Fifth Element, but where exactly is Gary Oldman head-blood coming from?
… ABC just ordered a S.H.I.E.L.D. pilot written and directed by Joss Whedon. Holy. Shit.
I ate too much. I’m uncomfortafull. That’s right. Uncomfortafull. Fuck you, not every one will be a winner. I don’t dance for you.
Fuck that guy and his jogging shoes. I could jog too if I wanted but I’m too unfit and can’t be bothered and I’d spill this milkshake.
I will watch anything with Chris Hemsworth's arms in it.
Happy Endings is the funniest thing on television. I want to make friend-love to all of those wonderful characters.
Sometimes I’ll see a really fit guy and think ‘he looks healthy’ and then I LITERALLY face-fuck a pizza until it’s time to sleep.
If society doesn't want me to press the Walk button if someone else has, then they actually have to have pressed it. Or this all falls apart
The Roast for 2013 was 130 eps produced by an amazing team I don't deserve on a schedule they don't. But we'll do it all again in 2014. Help
Soon Channel 10 are going to use Katy Perry's 'Roar' for a Biggest Loser promo and that's why this country's two-party system doesn't work.
Wearing mosquito spray and watching them fly by me totally unaware of my presence is the closest I'll ever get to having superpowers.
About to run 4km for charity. Which is totally unlike me, but I'll tell you what... fuck charity.
Showrunner/performer/director of @TheRoastTV on @ABC2. Obsessed gamer, awkward lover and Bill Paxton aficionado.