@Nicholai's (Nicholai Reinseth) most faved Tweets...
I love balls, he said. His sparkly latin dance pants did nothing to dissolve the ambiguity. All his life, homonyms caused him problems.
With the poop and regurgitation that comes with a 9wk old baby, your home movies are always just a bad mustache away from being German porn.
America is so much easier to understand once you realize they think of a debate as something that is won or lost.
I love the smell of facepalm in the morning. Nothing in the world smells like that. Smells like victory. For the other team.
I'm getting fed up with tweets relying on formulaic expressions, trite snowclones and tired memes. It's tedious and unimaginative. AMIRITE?
It's oddly enjoyable to randomly add "no pun intended" to sentences and watch people think "I don't get it. Am I stupid?" (no pun intended).
15
wish I had other reasons for being naked Friday night than "poop and vomit on all my clothes". Also, might add "baby" somewhere for clarity.
15
Oh, here we go again. "Sleeping like a baby", by the lying scum copywriters that brought you "Smart like Palin" and "Unbiased like Fox".
15
Was going to write that @shitmydadsays doesn't seem quite funny enough for a whole tv show, but then I remembered tv shows.
14
I get why marketing people like "crowd-sourcing", but it's really only a good idea if you know you're dumber than average.
14
Repeating the jokes of other people right after they tell them gets you a lot fewer friends in real life than on Twitter. Apparently.
14
turns out "hey, it will all be over soon anyway" is *not* the best way to help someone with depression.
14
Am I alone in wanting to keep my bots? The quiet ones, at least. The count just as much as you snarky mofos, and they don't point out typos.
14
So Coors light, "coldness" is your USP? You're trying to sell me beer distinguished by... the awesome refrigerating power of my own fridge?
13
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar