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  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    'The Kardashians' have now been on the air twice as long as 'Arrested Development.' THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, AMERICA.

    • 1,982
    • FAVS
    elmoscaresmeShaver282sean505JR_paperstacks2PLANESfekete0510emsykayjuliepie76
    • 15k
    • RETWEETS
    Shaver282Chris_Holtmanjaythornton000JR_paperstacks2PLANESGreat_JENeticsidgetwidgetIDFKrightnow
    JosesLovesYoutrialfemme
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    It's gonna be hard convincing our kids that stop lights weren't invented as social media check stations.

    • 531
    • FAVS
    ddcostelloAli_KouranitonzkushemsykayThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeillebourgeoisaliendangerousd111
    • 415
    • RETWEETS
    merrsmithtonzkushcoop_yoemsykayIDFKrightnowvipul903ThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeille
    VN_RubenWindPushedGrass_jennjennSDHeadTrip
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Still kinda freaks me out that someone born in 1996 is old enough to have a job and opinions and stuff.

    • 568
    • FAVS
    Shaver282TheBlindLemonAli_KouraniWittyHendrixserinity_lynnidgetwidgetHVBookthongsstarrySydni
    • 329
    • RETWEETS
    Shaver282m1ss_DefJamzebbarelli_JordynkieraSoledadGO6500IDFKrightnowThRealBallsDeepafairiesweetear
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Just witnessed a 9 year old get a call on her iPhone, roll her eyes, hit ignore, then put it back in her pocket so I give up.

    • 584
    • FAVS
    MeredvthHuckBrushybigbootyheauxthrumyminds3yejasonoftheseaSoulconAlasSoCalledSomeoneAli_Kourani
    • 270
    • RETWEETS
    zebbarelliBumpFire2012Great_JENeticsMasilaJnrAlbmil254Mis_Organisedlistenyoungmanblasphe_me
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    The Great Gatsby was so unrealistic. So many people at those huge parties and not once did anyone ask for the wifi password.

    • 415
    • FAVS
    2PLANESThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeilleafairiesweeteardangerousd111AgataHoszJordan21487LombaxWhisperer
    • 290
    • RETWEETS
    2PLANES_Jordynkierasw33tchica_ThRealBallsDeepGabbyGrindstaffAgataHoszSalehaMosjam29
    brookeisgolden
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Twenty bucks says Bruce Willis is squinting at something right now.

    • 447
    • FAVS
    ericsshadowrage_chaoskaren1313harrisv_hazethePorkPrincessGamersRespawnThRealBallsDeepWiseCrackerSoup
    • 237
    • RETWEETS
    fetus56BobbyBuzzDazzkaren1313harriszebbarelliIggiSmallzv_hazejuliepie76ThRealBallsDeep
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Saw couple fighting, the woman said "I can't even look at you right now" then stared him down, proving his previous claim that she's a liar.

    • 392
    • FAVS
    Shaver282jefflanejrTtresness15Damn_its_Seanmattmanic2PLANESUnPerfectMomAli_Kourani
    • 217
    • RETWEETS
    Shaver282jefflanejrAlpapicinoPuffWireThRealBallsDeepBrailleNoteApexdangerousd111AgataHosz
    kferrandino
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    It's sad that our children will never understand the relationship between a cassette tape and pencil.

    • 304
    • FAVS
    _acardenas21Shaver282karen1313harrisddcostelloDamn_its_SeanbagelqurlGeminigurl6serinity_lynn
    • 183
    • RETWEETS
    Shaver282karen1313harrisGeminigurl6Miss_KhaimiaIDFKrightnowajayloveindiaThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeille
    KoJo_Sunshine____poe927
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Whenever I'm over-thinking a lyric I remember that Eminem said "mom's spaghetti" in a song and it won an Oscar.

    • 297
    • FAVS
    jefflanejrchrisjooniorDamn_its_SeanUnPerfectMomstenokelcoop_yojuliepie76emsykay
    • 154
    • RETWEETS
    UnPerfectMombagelqurlemsykayThRealBallsDeepmurcienzoRapGenius023chuj_ci_w_dupedangerousd111
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Mall kiosk workers are the human equivalent of pop-up ads.

    • 249
    • FAVS
    gimmeshuggahShaver282THEPokerWiferage_chaosmusicBrownLickherOhgoddessitsmeBlackCheesePierage_chaos
    • 170
    • RETWEETS
    gimmeshuggahShaver282morgan_faith7rage_chaosDamn_its_SeanMrsaddicted91Miss_KhaimiaNoahGillis
    Inkdhawaiian
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    When R. Kelly dies, I call dibs on the "R.I.Pee." joke.

    • 262
    • FAVS
    KenyanRedhead_rage_chaosmoiirawwGetongaTheHomie_IKERWolickTheBlindLemonBrian_Hennessy
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    KenyanRedhead_GetongaMSayDidntDidIt2PLANESbenittto8testes524SnehaGeeDuniBoi
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Bored? Do this:

    1. Click here  http://gizoogle.net 
    2. Type in  http://twitter.com/YOURTWITTERUSERNAME  & hit enter
    3. Read tweets
    4. Thank me.

    • 196
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeilledangerousd111AceFlavoredhbreaker9999ODeadInsidebeelzebud27trolllyn__poptartmcdickns
    • 192
    • RETWEETS
    dangerousd111poptartmcdickns311_MamaSofa_King_BuenoaligoopsheepandrobotsTwitmytweetiesTroubledScribe
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    How many calories does avoiding eye contact with everyone in Target burn?

    • 256
    • FAVS
    Damn_its_SeanemsykayThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeillealegondiaOxbloodAbernthydangerousd111starwarsshirt
    • 89
    • RETWEETS
    AlpapicinoThRealBallsDeepbenittto13OxbloodAbernthyFavstar250JesKeepSwimmingellenteeshashaintl
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Taylor Swift is going to write a bitter song about Adele and Adele's going to write a song about how it made her sad and we'll all buy both.

    • 187
    • FAVS
    gimmeshuggahShaver282Janus456RdrzikAli_Kouranijustwanttobeme3Damn_its_Seanstenokel
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    Shaver282Janus456justwanttobeme3Mrsaddicted91ThRealBallsDeephbreaker9999AmedicusHowell_skysailing
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    If there's a farmer named Andre out there and he's NOT calling his stand at the farmer's market "Beets by Dre" then I give up.

    • 207
    • FAVS
    Shaver282twilk612jefflanejrXxx_usjustwanttobeme3WittyHendrixThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeille
    • 127
    • RETWEETS
    dilliesmurfShaver282KateNetherwoodSativa_Syllijustwanttobeme3Mrsaddicted91ovek23ThRealBallsDeep
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Nothing squashes your confidence like jeans right out of the dryer.

    • 217
    • FAVS
    rage_chaosTheBlindLemonjenner1072thePorkPrincessbagelqurlserinity_lynnZeL_foxyladi84PaulMMonaghan
    • 116
    • RETWEETS
    sunnykisses_ajTheBlindLemonddcostelloMrsaddicted91PaulMMonaghanovek23ThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeille
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    RT the sounding joy.

    • 128
    • FAVS
    UnPerfectMomemsykayThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeillehbreaker9999ODeadInsidebeelzebud27WindPushedGrass
    • 203
    • RETWEETS
    A1ainaanntwilk612UnPerfectMomThRealBallsDeepJn1fernewlywedboobsStephanieRoetsComakazi_Fuzz
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    The weather guy just said "rain-wrapped tornado" and I heard "bacon-wrapped burrito" so I'm gonna die hungry now.

    • 218
    • FAVS
    katiepotts07sw33tchica_thePorkPrincessUnPerfectMomPaulMMonaghanPeteySwag21KeystoneKid27OLDIRTYDIAPER
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    thePorkPrincessMrsaddicted91PeteySwag21ovek23ThRealBallsDeepattheUCfavstar_historybeelzebud27
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Only Ellen could turn the Oscars into a youth group lock-in. #Oscars

    • 177
    • FAVS
    ThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeillehbreaker9999attheUCODeadInsideraske_dancertaylorfielder_filmystic
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    attheUCAbbsMeyers_32Gironsymeghan__wolfauthor_eeburkeusedtobenicholePeterMcIndoe1joneichler
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Every day that I don't use algebra as an adult, the homework protest speech I gave my mom when I was 15 is validated.

    • 210
    • FAVS
    FloatNurse_RNthrumyminds3yecllwsw33tchica_Ali_Kouranidariospeedwagonstuirv09The_Jodes_LA
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    GurrdyGirlXxx_usMrsaddicted91IDFKrightnowzzelda01ThRealBallsDeepnotbrandonIrbyhbreaker9999
    datafaucet
@NickFlora

@NickFlora

performing songwriter, host of @WhoWritesPod, pop culture enthusiast, self-appointed king of sarcastic charm. http://favstar.fm/users/NickFlora