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  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    'The Kardashians' have now been on the air twice as long as 'Arrested Development.' THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, AMERICA.

    • 1,971
    • FAVS
    BoredButPerkyVaginaPopYalliwishiwasapizzaThePhoenixObcolditzMyOwnWayToRocklacrossemom5StaciNelson
    • 15k
    • RETWEETS
    purppeopleaterd_a_nichocourtneynomartineau_jennyevltwnHD1CherBear162ShelleyBesselthat1bish27
    JosesLovesYoutrialfemme
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    It's gonna be hard convincing our kids that stop lights weren't invented as social media check stations.

    • 517
    • FAVS
    ericsshadowatanenhausLaurelleMartinhighflyingmommaocourtneynoaShiverOfSharksCpin42CherBear162
    • 400
    • RETWEETS
    highflyingmommaCherBear162jensen1230rockermommy3that1bish27NickCosta8LindaInDisguiseVN_Ruben
    VN_RubenWindPushedGrass_jennjennSDHeadTrip
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Still kinda freaks me out that someone born in 1996 is old enough to have a job and opinions and stuff.

    • 544
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOocourtneynoaShiverOfSharksmartineau_jennyCherBear162that1bish27DirtyHarryBD1991nathanhead
    • 314
    • RETWEETS
    CherBear162kmmoore12thedamonsmithnatasha_nelsurefirecaps_skysailingSaintStoneyWindPushedGrass
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Just witnessed a 9 year old get a call on her iPhone, roll her eyes, hit ignore, then put it back in her pocket so I give up.

    • 526
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOocourtneynoMoodyRegqueengeeteecpsempleZNYRBOSPITINDstephaniehasCherBear162
    • 242
    • RETWEETS
    MoodyRegZNYRBOSPITINDstephaniehasCherBear162that1bish27TomCat249AmedicusHowellWindPushedGrass
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    The Great Gatsby was so unrealistic. So many people at those huge parties and not once did anyone ask for the wifi password.

    • 396
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOocourtneynoCpin42CherBear162that1bish27AmedicusHowellVioletThunkwickermanx
    • 276
    • RETWEETS
    kmmoore12AmedicusHowellWindPushedGrassInkdhawaiianJasonCarney31santhonythomasMissJaclynReneeViolent2Dope304
    brookeisgolden
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Twenty bucks says Bruce Willis is squinting at something right now.

    • 425
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOocourtneynoCherBear162UntouchableShejunkyardigangoldenblurbraachKKthat1bish27
    • 224
    • RETWEETS
    CherBear162goldenblurbthat1bish27tylersorrellskmmoore12TomCat249TweetsByTheTonyAmedicusHowell
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Saw couple fighting, the woman said "I can't even look at you right now" then stared him down, proving his previous claim that she's a liar.

    • 367
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOocourtneynoqueengeeteestephaniehasCpin42TGI_juliemartineau_jennyCherBear162
    • 203
    • RETWEETS
    MissiextweetsstephaniehasCherBear162kmmoore12TracyJensen37AmedicusHowellnicola_edmonds_skysailing
    kferrandino
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    It's sad that our children will never understand the relationship between a cassette tape and pencil.

    • 289
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOocourtneynoO4PucksSakeZNYRBOSPITINDstephaniehasCpin42that1bish27WindPushedGrass
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    ZNYRBOSPITINDstephaniehasJasonCarney31thunderw0rm______AdrianYoung10Violent2Dope304nicecrazylady63KimBru49
    KoJo_Sunshine____poe927
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Whenever I'm over-thinking a lyric I remember that Eminem said "mom's spaghetti" in a song and it won an Oscar.

    • 278
    • FAVS
    erinshinaDharmaDaowifewithabsThePhoenixOocourtneynoshashaintlstephaniehasthat1bish27
    • 145
    • RETWEETS
    ThePhoenixOkittenishcutieInfoQuirksPapiZwaneevidentlyblondetylersorrellsGivVi_GCheekyKibble94
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Bored? Do this:

    1. Click here  http://gizoogle.net 
    2. Type in  http://twitter.com/YOURTWITTERUSERNAME  & hit enter
    3. Read tweets
    4. Thank me.

    • 192
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOthat1bish27trolllynpoptartmcdicknsdmutatiJn1ferKim_pulsivethedayofthedot
    • 191
    • RETWEETS
    poptartmcdickns311_MamaSofa_King_BuenoaligoopsheepandrobotsTwitmytweetiesTroubledScribeChrisLeeJax
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Mall kiosk workers are the human equivalent of pop-up ads.

    • 223
    • FAVS
    ericsshadowhighflyingmommahannonymousAZThePhoenixOmagicbrooklyn_shashaintleborg01isopodshuffle
    • 155
    • RETWEETS
    highflyingmommaJKW6284hannonymousAZeborg01dyynamicBobbyLadsonZNYRBOSPITINDstephaniehas
    Inkdhawaiian
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    When R. Kelly dies, I call dibs on the "R.I.Pee." joke.

    • 237
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOthat1bish27shannon2703InkdhawaiianB1gBrainsMcGeesanthonythomaspoptartmcdicknsmissymmkay
    • 129
    • RETWEETS
    trolllynMikeRoch69InkdhawaiianJn1fer2Steffsbaseballchickie311_MamaBarrDaly
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    How many calories does avoiding eye contact with everyone in Target burn?

    • 247
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOMonaJean84eborg01SuvieDClseifxoericandreas80aprilagetonywoodlief
    • 84
    • RETWEETS
    JesKeepSwimmingellenteeshashaintlZNYRBOSPITINDstephaniehaslegendbanterjewfacekillaJn1fer
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Taylor Swift is going to write a bitter song about Adele and Adele's going to write a song about how it made her sad and we'll all buy both.

    • 169
    • FAVS
    highflyingmommaThePhoenixOthat1bish27randomlady74AmedicusHowelldanielvismeHungryBlack______WindPushedGrass
    • 146
    • RETWEETS
    AmedicusHowell_skysailingWindPushedGrassAdrianYoung10poptartmcdicknsDemtaidmutatiJn1fer
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    If there's a farmer named Andre out there and he's NOT calling his stand at the farmer's market "Beets by Dre" then I give up.

    • 195
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOthat1bish27JamieGreenleeswhickedchildTerror_85_skysailingdanielvismekazibel
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    that1bish27LaContentaVidaTerror_85mshannahjonesWindPushedGrassdmutatiJn1ferStephanieRoets
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    RT the sounding joy.

    • 123
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOthat1bish27WindPushedGrassLorieGZpoptartmcdicknsJn1fereinsteinsexual311_Mama
    • 189
    • RETWEETS
    Jn1fernewlywedboobsStephanieRoetsFuzzy_sue_CherriAnn_Twitmytweetiesfavstar1000favsbrookeisgolden
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Nothing squashes your confidence like jeans right out of the dryer.

    • 200
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOFancyNancyAnnMonaJean84aShiverOfSharksthat1bish27smileforgiveluvJamieGreenleeswhickedchild
    • 107
    • RETWEETS
    MonaJean84haleysfallingkazibelWindPushedGrassKate_Drenning_littlevoice14Ctchandler247jewfacekilla
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Only Ellen could turn the Oscars into a youth group lock-in. #Oscars

    • 173
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOraske_dancertaylorfielder_filmysticmemoshephiitskendraLindseySpichercurlyred96
    • 112
    • RETWEETS
    AbbsMeyers_32Gironsymeghan__wolfauthor_eeburkeusedtobenicholePeterMcIndoe1joneichlerLandreeMorris
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    The weather guy just said "rain-wrapped tornado" and I heard "bacon-wrapped burrito" so I'm gonna die hungry now.

    • 200
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOthat1bish27AdrianYoung10poptartmcdicknsdmutatiTINY_TOESIES______jewfacekillaAlessandra__456
    • 84
    • RETWEETS
    that1bish27Jn1fer311_Mama_ArtIsINFINITE_trolllynBlotterMonkeyNiceShoesWannaFMrAdamBez
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Every day that I don't use algebra as an adult, the homework protest speech I gave my mom when I was 15 is validated.

    • 190
    • FAVS
    ThePhoenixOaShiverOfSharksthat1bish27JaiyeJonesdeutschheuteDelanieFischerdanielvismeWindPushedGrass
    • 63
    • RETWEETS
    JaiyeJonesWindPushedGrassInkdhawaiianpoptartmcdicknsSeiYoung83mrjohntofuViolent2Dope304Scarlet_Alabama
    datafaucet
@NickFlora

@NickFlora

performing songwriter, @WhoWritesPod host, pop culture enthusiast, self-appointed king of sarcastic charm: http://favstar.fm/users/NickFlora