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  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    'The Kardashians' have now been on the air twice as long as 'Arrested Development.' THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, AMERICA.

    • 1,983
    • FAVS
    skernn23asanders1972elmoscaresmeShaver282sean505JR_paperstacks2PLANESfekete0510
    • 15k
    • RETWEETS
    skernn23asanders1972Shaver282Chris_Holtmanjaythornton000JR_paperstacks2PLANESGreat_JENetics
    JosesLovesYoutrialfemme
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    It's gonna be hard convincing our kids that stop lights weren't invented as social media check stations.

    • 531
    • FAVS
    ddcostelloAli_KouranitonzkushemsykayThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeillebourgeoisaliendangerousd111
    • 415
    • RETWEETS
    merrsmithtonzkushcoop_yoemsykayIDFKrightnowvipul903ThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeille
    VN_RubenWindPushedGrass_jennjennigottiamant
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Still kinda freaks me out that someone born in 1996 is old enough to have a job and opinions and stuff.

    • 583
    • FAVS
    lllvvvzzztheragingsemiviciousbetty32EBiggumstarlbludworthTrekRestoBitterinYKPFBaz
    • 343
    • RETWEETS
    lllvvvzzzflipchickmomof2viciousbetty32EBiggumshrosvBearJew007ASweetTweetRoseDawnOfTheCynic
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Just witnessed a 9 year old get a call on her iPhone, roll her eyes, hit ignore, then put it back in her pocket so I give up.

    • 591
    • FAVS
    skernn23asanders1972manirahoMisterStealieSpunkyCanaryspekulation321tardisMeredvth
    • 275
    • RETWEETS
    asanders1972MisterStealiebellagrazia3812spekulation321tardiszebbarelliBumpFire2012Great_JENetics
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    The Great Gatsby was so unrealistic. So many people at those huge parties and not once did anyone ask for the wifi password.

    • 416
    • FAVS
    asanders19722PLANESThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeilleafairiesweetear__dangerousd111AgataHoszJordan21487
    • 290
    • RETWEETS
    2PLANES_Jordynkierasw33tchica_ThRealBallsDeepGabbyGrindstaffAgataHoszSalehaMosjam29
    brookeisgolden
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Twenty bucks says Bruce Willis is squinting at something right now.

    • 450
    • FAVS
    chompy_jrToastburglarasanders1972ericsshadowrage_chaoskaren1313harrisv_hazethePorkPrincess
    • 240
    • RETWEETS
    chompy_jrasanders1972fetus56BobbyBuzzDazzkaren1313harriszebbarelliIggiSmallzv_haze
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Saw couple fighting, the woman said "I can't even look at you right now" then stared him down, proving his previous claim that she's a liar.

    • 393
    • FAVS
    asanders1972Shaver282jefflanejrTtresness15Damn_its_Seanmattmanic2PLANESUnPerfectMom
    • 217
    • RETWEETS
    Shaver282jefflanejrAlpapicinoPuffWireThRealBallsDeepBrailleNoteApexdangerousd111AgataHosz
    kferrandino
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    It's sad that our children will never understand the relationship between a cassette tape and pencil.

    • 305
    • FAVS
    trialfemme_acardenas21Shaver282karen1313harrisddcostelloDamn_its_Seanbagelqurlmissylena6
    • 184
    • RETWEETS
    trialfemmeShaver282karen1313harrismissylena6Miss_KhaimiaIDFKrightnowajayloveindiaThRealBallsDeep
    KoJo_Sunshine____poe927
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Whenever I'm over-thinking a lyric I remember that Eminem said "mom's spaghetti" in a song and it won an Oscar.

    • 299
    • FAVS
    skernn23asanders1972jefflanejrchrisjooniorDamn_its_SeanUnPerfectMomFingers_of_Furycoop_yo
    • 155
    • RETWEETS
    asanders1972UnPerfectMombagelqurlemsykayThRealBallsDeepmurcienzoRapGenius023chuj_ci_w_dupe
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Mall kiosk workers are the human equivalent of pop-up ads.

    • 249
    • FAVS
    gimmeshuggahShaver282THEPokerWiferage_chaosmusicBrownLickherOhgoddessitsmeBlackCheesePierage_chaos
    • 170
    • RETWEETS
    gimmeshuggahShaver282morgan_faith7rage_chaosDamn_its_SeanMrsaddicted91Miss_KhaimiaNoahGillis
    Inkdhawaiian
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    When R. Kelly dies, I call dibs on the "R.I.Pee." joke.

    • 263
    • FAVS
    asanders1972KenyanRedhead_rage_chaosmoiirawwGetongaTheHomie_IKERWolickTheBlindLemon
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    KenyanRedhead_GetongaMSayDidntDidIt2PLANESbenittto8testes524SnehaGeeDuniBoi
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Bored? Do this:

    1. Click here  http://gizoogle.net 
    2. Type in  http://twitter.com/YOURTWITTERUSERNAME  & hit enter
    3. Read tweets
    4. Thank me.

    • 196
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeilledangerousd111AceFlavoredhbreaker9999ODeadInsidebeelzebud27trolllyn__poptartmcdickns
    • 192
    • RETWEETS
    dangerousd111poptartmcdickns311_MamaSofa_King_BuenoaligoopsheepandrobotsTwitmytweetiesTroubledScribe
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Nothing squashes your confidence like jeans right out of the dryer.

    • 225
    • FAVS
    nfalkestavaquileanaShitCourtSays_ttheresamariekate_smithxxattsmcjayJaneBadallasanders1972
    • 120
    • RETWEETS
    aquileanaleaherinxottheresamarieasanders1972sunnykisses_ajTheBlindLemonddcostelloMrsaddicted91
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    How many calories does avoiding eye contact with everyone in Target burn?

    • 256
    • FAVS
    Damn_its_SeanemsykayThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeillealegondiaOxbloodAbernthydangerousd111starwarsshirt
    • 89
    • RETWEETS
    AlpapicinoThRealBallsDeepbenittto13OxbloodAbernthyFavstar250JesKeepSwimmingellenteeshashaintl
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Taylor Swift is going to write a bitter song about Adele and Adele's going to write a song about how it made her sad and we'll all buy both.

    • 187
    • FAVS
    gimmeshuggahShaver282Janus456RdrzikAli_Kouranijustwanttobeme3Damn_its_SeanFingers_of_Fury
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    Shaver282Janus456justwanttobeme3Mrsaddicted91ThRealBallsDeephbreaker9999AmedicusHowell_skysailing
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    If there's a farmer named Andre out there and he's NOT calling his stand at the farmer's market "Beets by Dre" then I give up.

    • 207
    • FAVS
    Shaver282twilk612jefflanejrXxx_usjustwanttobeme3WittyHendrixThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeille
    • 127
    • RETWEETS
    dilliesmurfShaver282KateNetherwoodSativa_Syllijustwanttobeme3Mrsaddicted91ovek23ThRealBallsDeep
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    RT the sounding joy.

    • 128
    • FAVS
    UnPerfectMomemsykayThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeillehbreaker9999ODeadInsidebeelzebud27WindPushedGrass
    • 203
    • RETWEETS
    A1ainaanntwilk612UnPerfectMomThRealBallsDeepJn1fernewlywedboobsStephanieRoetsFuzzy_Karmakazi
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    The weather guy just said "rain-wrapped tornado" and I heard "bacon-wrapped burrito" so I'm gonna die hungry now.

    • 220
    • FAVS
    skernn23asanders1972katiepotts07sw33tchica_thePorkPrincessUnPerfectMomPaulMMonaghanPeteySwag21
    • 93
    • RETWEETS
    skernn23asanders1972thePorkPrincessMrsaddicted91PeteySwag21ovek23ThRealBallsDeepattheUC
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Only Ellen could turn the Oscars into a youth group lock-in. #Oscars

    • 178
    • FAVS
    asanders1972ThRealBallsDeepMsMielAbeillehbreaker9999attheUCODeadInsideraske_dancertaylorfielder_
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    attheUCAbbsMeyers_32Gironsymeghan__wolfauthor_eeburkeusedtobenicholePeterMcIndoe1joneichler
  • NickFlora
      Nick Flora @NickFlora

    Every day that I don't use algebra as an adult, the homework protest speech I gave my mom when I was 15 is validated.

    • 211
    • FAVS
    asanders1972FloatNurse_RNthrumyminds3yecllwsw33tchica_Ali_Kouranidariospeedwagonstuirv09
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    asanders1972GurrdyGirlXxx_usMrsaddicted91IDFKrightnowzzelda01ThRealBallsDeepnotbrandonIrby
    datafaucet
@NickFlora

@NickFlora

performing songwriter, host of @WhoWritesPod, pop culture enthusiast, self-appointed king of sarcastic charm. http://favstar.fm/users/NickFlora