The movie Twister is about not sticking your dick in crazy.

Liquor at 9am because fuck you, I'm not driving anywhere this weekend

Don't. Fuck. Up.

I just gave my two weeks notice and start at the development company I like on the 20th.

@meredithmo we would all be english if they just tried a little harder.

i think it is official. scotch weather is over and gin weather has begun.

@tweetlyrical i had always assumed @kid_fresca was a gay man. i dont know why.

i want to make a "taco pie wall street." i cant believe no one has already #ows

you know 2011 was a rough year when there were so many commercials telling you not to kill yourself.

what did the ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, she just waved.

" Fat hipsters with beards who wear pea coats look like Paddington Bear. "

"one night with me and they will be calling you Moaning Myrtle" #HPPickUpLines

@trolleycat new york city walked into a bar and decided to drive 50 miles an hour in the left lane of the parkway and just stay there.

@mcschoon her first album created under the name Inara George is her best work. Saw her play it to open up for Idlewilde in 2005.

OPOWER is looking for: Director of Engineering - San Francisco
http://jobvite.com/m?3QuWYfwY #job

I just got such a nice rejection letter from the World Resources Institute for their China Liaison position, I don't even feel bad about it.

@the_real_latfh http://twitpic.com/1c0wip - how literal guys, we really are fishing for attention.

did you know new jersey was almost named Albania? http://www.wallnj.com/history1.htm