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The movie Twister is about not sticking your dick in crazy.
Liquor at 9am because fuck you, I'm not driving anywhere this weekend
Don't. Fuck. Up.
I just gave my two weeks notice and start at the development company I like on the 20th.
i think it is official. scotch weather is over and gin weather has begun.
i want to make a "taco pie wall street." i cant believe no one has already #ows
you know 2011 was a rough year when there were so many commercials telling you not to kill yourself.
what did the ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, she just waved.
" Fat hipsters with beards who wear pea coats look like Paddington Bear. "
"one night with me and they will be calling you Moaning Myrtle" #HPPickUpLines
I just got such a nice rejection letter from the World Resources Institute for their China Liaison position, I don't even feel bad about it.
I'm so hipster, I am only interested in emerging markets. I'd tell you more, but they are pretty obscure countries. You probably haven't heard of them.