I used to follow good looking people until I realized that their tweets suck donkey balls. Now I happily follow you interesting ugly folk.

That awkward moment when you get your period on a pregnancy test.

Any fashion designer in KZN area looking for employment? Please RT. Could help somebody.

Dear 7 people that just unfollowed me, fuck you guys.

I've noticed everybody has given up their drug dabbling & sexually deviant ways since @favstar's been down. Its almost like the real world.

If my thighs get any fatter, I'm afraid I won't see the top of his head. And the top of his head is pretty darn cute.

I wanna screenmunch my DM conversation with Euphonik but I'm afraid Bonang will pull out all my hair & wear it :(

Fat fat fat fat FAT FAT FAT!!! *flings chocolate muffin against the wall*

Being an only child must be nice despite having to deal with the aborted child's share of abuse.

"When the cat's away, the mice will masturbate" ~ Dr Phil

"If 2 Pac were alive, Lil Wayne would be working at McDonalds"

If I were in your happy place, I'd be in my vagina.

Everybody congratulating @damonkalvari for refusing to vote is also an idiot.

Grown men eating ice-cream of a cone is sexual suicide.

I don't understand how come Kelly Rowland is so dark when she spent all those years in Beyonce's shadow.

I'm surprised so many of you sluts are still up.

Low self-esteem will consume this shallow world.

ALL girls should give head. Unless you want your man wandering off & coming back with a disease. #BlowHimBitch #GirlGospel

If you can touch my private parts, then I can go through your phone MOTHER FUCKER!

Bad vampires bite necks, good vampires squeeze tampons into a shot glass.