I wanna learn how to sword fight, lets do this. Wait! Lets get completely stoned first! I wanna be able to laugh when you cut your arm off

There should be a designated locker where everyone distributes their cellular devices before drinking themselves into an oblivion

#BeingHuman at 9! So excited! Gotta make it home in time to watch @sammyhuntington, Witwer & @meaghanrath. They make Monday's way better :)

"If your attack is going too well, your walking into an ambush"

If you take a big enough shit, the water splashes up on your butt...kinda like a cheap bidet

#ff Virginia vaginas @discolemonkayy @chefedub @pandorasboxx95 @nicole_g92 @actress_britt @nikkip18 @justasknic <--yes he counts ;)

@concernedmom420 i overdose every night then..

If she's got a mouth and ass like a Thoroughbred, she's a keeper

@cloydrivers actually terrorists attack us and the world hates us...merica is steadily heading down hill

I'm sexy and I know it!

Woke up this morning to a stinky load of cat shit, man ya gotta love Monday

RT @whocuppedmycake: I love hash.
And tags.

RT @whocuppedmycake: This idiot woman at the Nike store kept referring to their selection of "beer drinking couch pants" as "yoga pants".

I've been awake for the past 45 min. Smoking this bong. While folks are passed out around me.
Come on people!
#thenightisstillyoung

@chefedub @brittanysbox hmm..RT @bad_acid_: a religious cult of young adults that get fucked up on drugs and sit around remembering the 90's

.@chefedub @brittanysbox check out this broad @concernedmom420 smh...

Katt Williams hauled off and bitch slapped the HELL outta some Target employee lol

I just popped a love blister and now I'm oozing romance

Congratulations Kayy! We are so PROUD OF YOU!! @discolemonkayy http://t.co/ehA5LwhO

I hear your voice, its like an angel sighing