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#inthe90s women dressed like men - jeans and oversized plaid shirts. Now men dress like women - hipsters and skinny jeans.
I only watch Keeping up with the Kardashians to feel better about the size of my own ass...
so let me get this straight, emoticons are okay for work but I'm being immature for wanting nap time.
Why the fuck I feel the need to correct my own spelling with a bunch of people I'll never meet does not make sense.
I'm sure St Paddy is looking down and feels proud of all the drunk high school kids fighting on my train. Really.
Dear Stay at Home Moms - I'll stop over compensating for not having a family yet if you #stfu about how hard you work at being a mom.
So what I've learned in two weeks is that men from online dating sites are whiny little bitches. Thanks.
Days like today make me wish there was alcohol in my water bottle.
I'm old enough to remember only plain M&M's, no blue and two different brown colored ones
I wanna be a pimp so I can tell everyone how hard it is out there...
Currently being tormented by a 4 year old and a two and year old. I now get why mom's drink
#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage typing #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage
Meetings on St Patrick's Day should include Jameson or Guiness.
Best part of the weekend us not having to wear underwear.
You know it's serious storm when Starbucks closes...
Dear people who can't handle work stress, please quit and make room for people who can...also #STFU you're bringing the rest of us down.
I'd be an alcoholic if I didn't mind giving up control.
I musta missed the memo about 'raping' gifts...
I realize my mistake at the gym is not wearing full makeup and having my hair done. Are these women serious?
Can today be fuck off Friday instead?