i would like a little rainbow button below the star so i can mark the super gay tweets too

i'm eating these m&m's like they're the morning after pill

i brought sexy back but i'm not sure where i put it

During my entire exam I called the doctor "daddy" because there is no reason she shouldn't feel just as uncomfortable as I did.

if my bush gets any more wild, lady gaga would probably wear it in her next video

i need to get something off my chest


seriously hand me a towel before this dries

Bought the palin book today cause I needed more toilet paper. I was really disappointed to see that the pages were already full of shit.

This might be more fun if you would stop shouting your safe word

Don't focus on the negative. Soon enough you'll be out of this trunk and in your very own cage in my basement.

Why are you crying?

Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should.

Moving on, how do I get this out of my butt?

okay but if you scream when i take the gag out of your mouth, it's really going to damage the trust we've established so far

i see your bulging pants and raise you with a little side boob

your mom is on the leaderboard at the free clinic or so i was told

i think i'm getting a pearl necklace for my anniversary

the only thing that would make this movie more exciting is a finger in me

i think i may have actually worn *the fuck* out of my vibrator

if they make a twitter related movie, will it be called "Star Whores"?

no matter how hard it is to keep my eyes open i can always manage to keep my legs open

i've got on red lipstick and no panties. flask is full of tequila and the evening is young.

i'm thinking of taking up prostitution so at least i could name my own price for the fuckin i take on a daily basis at work