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  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    The first rule of Breakfast Club is: Don't you forget about me. Don't, Don't, Don't, Don't

    • 2,110
    • FAVS
    catcervenyCosmicTrapxxEllyNotxxterraandwhatnotAaronC_48mrjohntofuNotBachibawlzGeekAttack
    • 1,667
    • RETWEETS
    AnyaKali_McatcervenyBonJovi32terraandwhatnotAaronC_48janaelowe0mrjohntofuCorpulentCloud
    corinnemlwswDeannaMarieRVAJiminyKicksItmichowlOnigiriDemonthenoahkinseyChiefTwittler
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Saw a big girl wearing really short, shredded denim shorts. I'm going to assume those were jeans before she hulked out.

    • 1,615
    • FAVS
    s0m4hDAF_FittieDefUSKAngelaAllisSamuelHLoweTrueTorontoGirlleigh71xayila
    • 1,006
    • RETWEETS
    simon_says54LuvtoliftSamuelHLoweMSN2BEa_olivia4212momoneymo8Mr_BlavoNaaQue
    MrJakeMorganSuggestibleDave__Wakenbake77lovemyboots111ShaunRightNowVickieLWallace_InsanelyNormal__twayne1010Mothpete
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    As much as America hates some of the shit the Middle East does, cutting off someone's dick b/c they raped someone is actually brilliant.

    • 753
    • FAVS
    herrgnervtovereaseeairwalk_11lana_manilowEuwreckapbms_bitchtexnchicagoTraneWreck4
    • 433
    • RETWEETS
    MSN2BEa_olivia4212Valpack21texnchicagocorinnemlwswHolidillPigeonlovDeannaMarieRVA
    77StephanieG77B_poling82SaraESpivey
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    YOU hit rock bottom? My mom just un-friended me on Pinterest.

    • 780
    • FAVS
    herrgnervtDawnLovesZombielisakaypriceNinja_Soup_melbbcrglibert3AilsaLillywhitemagavulpe
    • 350
    • RETWEETS
    DawnLovesZombielulu_ambroseeBonJovi32mrjohntofuMSN2BEa_olivia4212Ideal_Victorialllvvvzzz
    JUSTLisandraSmooheedpeterjames48
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    *Nickelback starts playing on loud speaker at Home Depot* Me to Home Depot employee: "Is there gas in this chainsaw"?

    • 699
    • FAVS
    CampDreadmrjohntofuleigh71xayiladeeniedreamcorinnegogbitchvillekzone8
    • 357
    • RETWEETS
    CampDreadbabygirlcocaineschwicke34mrjohntofuTedPillowcorinnemlwswPigeonlovtomw1984
    10InchesPlus
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets.

    • 683
    • FAVS
    catcervenymrjohntofuMSN2BEairwalk_11PunmasterPliftedchiverZirconpartialShortyKLC95233
    • 358
    • RETWEETS
    mrjohntofuBINGBING_BLOGliftedchiverZirconpartialthegopumuseofhistorycorinnemlwswPigeonlov
    SpanishFlightBillhenry16
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    No moving trucks in front of Chris Bosh's home tho. pic.twitter.com/2QMOs2e7vM

    • 379
    • FAVS
    iamdanzoKevinKlemenciclebron_dwyanekaitduffyBlanEyadHorribleJvKickrdburger23mmott_97
    • 556
    • RETWEETS
    Lelan_the_GreatJeffMikeBearMiguelCASHtrofittedchampisabella_judgeGvilleShaw_badgal96robbins_kelly
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Looks like my neighbors are out of beer, so I'm done drinking for the night.

    • 560
    • FAVS
    RiotGRRLBarbierona65merryc1978mstluvstrinketsPigeonlovcrston8meemeebeegreen_babe_
    • 226
    • RETWEETS
    RiotGRRLBarbierona65MSN2BEmstluvstrinketsjcbstarmanPigeonlovmeemeebeeJuliaProud2014
    Xalqee
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    The fact that Evelyn Lozada was able to run away on foot from Chad Johnson is more than enough reason for the Dolphins to cut him.

    • 348
    • FAVS
    a_olivia4212corinnemlwswPigeonlovgreen_babe_AllaHbastErJuliaProud2014tomw1984daniel_shaw
    • 405
    • RETWEETS
    momoneymo8IAmSteezuscorinnemlwswPigeonlovtomw1984CoopSoSarc________SACutie2014QueefTornado
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    I'll run a marathon as long as someone is chasing me with a weapon.

    • 459
    • FAVS
    ejmichaels1Pigeonlovredbreasticlesgreen_babe_AllaHbastErFunnyTunesJuliaProud2014tomw1984
    • 278
    • RETWEETS
    merryc1978ejmichaels1jcbstarmanPigeonlovgreen_babe_omgthatwitchJuliaProud2014tomw1984
    WhatsHerFace33martianhaiku______
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Jameis Winston stealing crab from Publix. pic.twitter.com/zmDmxT7sSA

    • 213
    • FAVS
    tomw1984CoopSoSarc________kelseycook14SIEverythingeinnivmitchellb_33Seanbailey73cat77lambright
    • 464
    • RETWEETS
    einnivsamkalinskimorriskimberlyAcehood2015RaveenaPatel1EveridgeKatelynTylerF_Madison_Collum
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    So what if I fantasize about Nell Carter. Gimmie a break.

    • 425
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepangieuncoveredsamuelbrady7Alphasoccerdadcorinnemlwswmstluvstrinketsejmichaels1bipolarraccoon
    • 151
    • RETWEETS
    Lavoie27PFitzpacorinnemlwswmstluvstrinketsejmichaels1gen_8675309______Pigeonlovnoneofyours99
    SeanINCypress
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    This Starbucks dude with a unibrow just got done telling me that he has many connections. If he only knew the irony in that statement.

    • 363
    • FAVS
    MSN2BEejmichaels1ToxicProbablyrachel_uncommonryangriffithsyoufukinwishWhatevaConcshkeeber
    • 149
    • RETWEETS
    ejmichaels1EzyModerachel_uncommonnoneofyours99WhatevaConcgreen_babe_JuliaProud2014Rachelnoise
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Taking a Twitter break for a while. I'll see ya again once my phone restarts.

    • 285
    • FAVS
    MSN2BEbeccafacexogreen_babe_FunnyTunesJuliaProud2014Rachelnoisedaniellagoldsmtomw1984
    • 139
    • RETWEETS
    SheIsClumsyyJuliaProud2014Rachelnoisetomw1984Hope055zami_singsonhockeyhamsterabrasiv
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Me: I'm turning in my resignation today.

    Boss: Very well then.

    Me: April Fools! Gotcha good!

    Boss: We've already replaced you.

    Me: ...

    • 285
    • FAVS
    beccafacexoejmichaels1meemeebeegreen_babe_AllaHbastErFunnyTunesUrvizilla__JuliaProud2014
    • 109
    • RETWEETS
    ejmichaels1meemeebeeJuliaProud2014Rachelnoisetomw1984minkamel85LivibelsDadaCoopSoSarc________
    jeffreyvanclea1
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    While the wife is out watching the new Twilight movie tonight, I'll be at home watching "Breaking Dawn" on Adult on Demand.

    • 304
    • FAVS
    meemeebeeBerrettaman28green_babe_FunnyTunesJuliaProud2014Rachelnoise151cobeztomw1984
    • 86
    • RETWEETS
    MSN2BEmeemeebeegreen_babe_JuliaProud2014Rachelnoise151cobeztomw1984AndrewShepard86__
    AndrewShepard86__
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel's foot.

    • 273
    • FAVS
    TheBeerGuy73drewpowersThis_isnt_meWhatevaConcmeemeebeegreen_babe_AllaHbastErsgtblueeyes
    • 112
    • RETWEETS
    MSN2BEThis_isnt_meWhatevaConcgreen_babe_AllaHbastErdxblarssonENGJuliaProud2014toripickle
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Son: Dad, u know wrestling isn't real, right?

    Me: Neither is Santa.

    Son: Wha? *tears up & runs off*

    Me: *sips beer* enjoyed our talk son

    • 204
    • FAVS
    herrgnervtTheBeerGuy73TheMichaelRockSureshC75581800Midgetsparmstluvstrinketsmeemeebeegreen_babe_
    • 112
    • RETWEETS
    MSN2BEmaddoxphotomstluvstrinketsgreen_babe_martyntantontomw1984CoopSoSarc________JPN366
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Do you remember where you were you when you realized the lead singer of Rascal Flatts wasn't a butch woman?

    • 213
    • FAVS
    beccafacexogreen_babe_itsAbbiestomw1984CoopSoSarc________JesKeepSwimmingwarhorse76_Ms_Moneypenny_
    • 87
    • RETWEETS
    tomw1984JesKeepSwimming1_squashing_uducksthoughtsSickayduhbluesbill44QueefTornadoFriedaPaulson
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    I thought Walmart employees were striking today? I was looking forward to calling it AWOL-mart all day.

    • 233
    • FAVS
    beccafacexogreen_babe_jjgrapemartyntantontomw1984yetichipsKimmmslifeCoopSoSarc________
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    green_babe_tomw1984CoopSoSarc________ScottBerghornSickayduhIAmKashWahQueefTornadoNouveauBroke
@Northside_Mike

@Northside_Mike

Don't do it.