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  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    The first rule of Breakfast Club is: Don't you forget about me. Don't, Don't, Don't, Don't

    • 2,131
    • FAVS
    DrDweezilangghasaputroJesterpopoPersianCelticBrdnHatesYouKimgee8knownAsDicklisakayprice
    • 1,676
    • RETWEETS
    JesterpopoPersianCelticlisakaypriceBlondie_MinrowMythicalCrystalMondayPajamasjumpdasharkravi_sinhaa
    corinnemlwswDeannaCCMAJiminyKicksIt__michowlOnigiriDemonthenoahkinseyChiefTwittler
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Saw a big girl wearing really short, shredded denim shorts. I'm going to assume those were jeans before she hulked out.

    • 1,643
    • FAVS
    DrDweezilPersianCelticFord414Catoptroph0biaSuperRandomishBrdnHatesYouKimgee8ErinEph
    • 1,023
    • RETWEETS
    PersianCelticBrdnHatesYoushakes31471jumpdasharkNutellaVlifeisaMAYESingitsjustme82_paulablu22
    MrJakeMorganSuggestibleDave__Wakenbake77lovemyboots111ShaunRightNowVickieLWallace_InsanelyNormal__twayne1010Mothpete
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    As much as America hates some of the shit the Middle East does, cutting off someone's dick b/c they raped someone is actually brilliant.

    • 768
    • FAVS
    DrDweeziljunkyard_jakeOmegaLioness__rcarlsn612BrdnHatesYouKimgee8jumpdasharklifeisaMAYESing
    • 442
    • RETWEETS
    The0phaniaCatoptroph0biaDirtyLittleLiejunkyard_jakeBrdnHatesYoupaulablu22Moe_Lee_96bhh
    77StephanieG77B_poling82SaraESpivey
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    YOU hit rock bottom? My mom just un-friended me on Pinterest.

    • 792
    • FAVS
    DrDweezilKimgee8knownAsDickshakes31471what2vrjumpdasharklifeisaMAYESingRivercity85
    • 358
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkpaulablu22Moe_Lee_96bhhwhata_sinBrdnHatesYouichbinjonyoopnative__
    JUSTLisandraSmooheedpeterjames48
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    *Nickelback starts playing on loud speaker at Home Depot* Me to Home Depot employee: "Is there gas in this chainsaw"?

    • 709
    • FAVS
    DrDweezilawescarKimgee8jumpdasharklifeisaMAYESingjettech6paulablu22BrdnHatesYou
    • 361
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historypaulablu22Moe_Lee_96bhhCampDreadbabygirlcocaineschwicke34mrjohntofu
    10InchesPlus
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets.

    • 697
    • FAVS
    DrDweezilangghasaputroPersianCelticKimgee8jumpdasharklifeisaMAYESingNorthside_MikeJoeHieronymus
    • 365
    • RETWEETS
    PersianCelticlifeisaMAYESingpaulablu22PaperCakes96bhhyoopnative__tealbluejaymrjohntofu
    SpanishFlightBillhenry16
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    No moving trucks in front of Chris Bosh's home tho. pic.twitter.com/2QMOs2e7vM

    • 383
    • FAVS
    Kimgee8jumpdasharkjakesundstromchillkesselbrandoncrandontealbluejayKt_MedvecACROB62
    • 557
    • RETWEETS
    rebexaramaECHOLUCHIANOcrunchenhancedLelan_the_GreatJeffMikeBearMiguelCASHtrofittedchampisabella_judge
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Looks like my neighbors are out of beer, so I'm done drinking for the night.

    • 565
    • FAVS
    DrDweeziljumpdasharkRivercity85paulablu22yoopnative__RiotGRRLBarbierona65LHydJawIsCr4k3J__
    • 228
    • RETWEETS
    paulablu2296bhhRiotGRRLBarbierona65MSN2BEmstluvstrinketsjcbstarmanPigeonlov__
    Xalqee
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    The fact that Evelyn Lozada was able to run away on foot from Chad Johnson is more than enough reason for the Dolphins to cut him.

    • 351
    • FAVS
    jumpdasharkRivercity85paulablu22a_olivia4212corinnemlwswPigeonlov__green_babe_aLLiSTeRBaNTeR
    • 407
    • RETWEETS
    paulablu2296bhhmomoneymo8IAmSteezuscorinnemlwswPigeonlov__tomw1984CoopSoSarc________
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    I'll run a marathon as long as someone is chasing me with a weapon.

    • 463
    • FAVS
    jumpdasharklifeisaMAYESingDearAbbySimonyoopnative__ejmichaels1Pigeonlov__redbreasticlesgreen_babe_
    • 280
    • RETWEETS
    96bhhyoopnative__LHydJawIsCr4k3J__ejmichaels1jcbstarmanPigeonlov__green_babe_omgthatwitch
    WhatsHerFace33martianhaiku______
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Jameis Winston stealing crab from Publix. pic.twitter.com/zmDmxT7sSA

    • 217
    • FAVS
    jumpdasharkKittenWrittenStu_MonsterGuidotorpedo410clark_cullHanBri1Delta_Rebcrunchenhanced
    • 465
    • RETWEETS
    HanBri1crunchenhancedeinnivsamkalinskimorriskimberlyAcehood2015RaveenaPatel1EveridgeKatelyn
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    So what if I fantasize about Nell Carter. Gimmie a break.

    • 429
    • FAVS
    awescarjumpdasharkDearAbbySimonyoopnative__NotoriousBeepangieuncoveredcreeptasticsamAlphasoccerdad
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    96bhhLavoie27PFitzpacorinnemlwswmstluvstrinketsejmichaels1gen_8675309______Pigeonlov__
    SeanInCypress
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    This Starbucks dude with a unibrow just got done telling me that he has many connections. If he only knew the irony in that statement.

    • 367
    • FAVS
    PersianCelticjumpdasharklifeisaMAYESingyoopnative__MSN2BEejmichaels1ToxicProbablyrachel_uncommon
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    PersianCeltic96bhhyoopnative__ejmichaels1EzyModerachel_uncommonnoneofyours99WhatevaConc
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Taking a Twitter break for a while. I'll see ya again once my phone restarts.

    • 288
    • FAVS
    jumpdasharkmorespanx__hassanaqeel2yoopnative__naturesbabiluvcrunchenhancedMSN2BEbeccafacexo
    • 142
    • RETWEETS
    96bhhyoopnative__crunchenhancedSheIsClumsyyJuliaProud2014Rachelnoisetomw1984Hope055
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Me: I'm turning in my resignation today.

    Boss: Very well then.

    Me: April Fools! Gotcha good!

    Boss: We've already replaced you.

    Me: ...

    • 292
    • FAVS
    jumpdasharkdanbytraveleryoopnative__Stu_Monsterkate_adkinss__ThatsJonesy2ucrunchenhancedbeccafacexo
    • 112
    • RETWEETS
    96bhhThatsJonesy2ucrunchenhancedejmichaels1meemeebeeJuliaProud2014Rachelnoisetomw1984
    jeffreyvanclea1
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    While the wife is out watching the new Twilight movie tonight, I'll be at home watching "Breaking Dawn" on Adult on Demand.

    • 307
    • FAVS
    DrDweeziljumpdasharkPatWallacemeemeebeeBerrettaman28green_babe_FunnyTunesJuliaProud2014
    • 87
    • RETWEETS
    96bhhMSN2BEmeemeebeegreen_babe_JuliaProud2014Rachelnoise151cobeztomw1984
    AndrewShepard86__
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel's foot.

    • 277
    • FAVS
    DrDweeziljumpdasharklifeisaMAYESingyoopnative__TheBeerGuy73drewpowersThis_isnt_meWhatevaConc
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    SmellyBallSacks96bhhMSN2BEThis_isnt_meWhatevaConcgreen_babe_aLLiSTeRBaNTeRdxblarssonENG
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Son: Dad, u know wrestling isn't real, right?

    Me: Neither is Santa.

    Son: Wha? *tears up & runs off*

    Me: *sips beer* enjoyed our talk son

    • 209
    • FAVS
    DrDweeziljumpdasharklifeisaMAYESingJ158nyoopnative__herrgnervtTheBeerGuy73TheMichaelRock
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    SmellyBallSacks96bhhMSN2BEmaddoxphotomstluvstrinketsgreen_babe_martyntantontomw1984
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    Do you remember where you were you when you realized the lead singer of Rascal Flatts wasn't a butch woman?

    • 215
    • FAVS
    jumpdasharklifeisaMAYESingbeccafacexogreen_babe_itsAbbiestomw1984CoopSoSarc________JesKeepSwimming
    • 88
    • RETWEETS
    96bhhtomw1984JesKeepSwimming1_squashing_uducksthoughtsSickayduhbluesbill44QueefTornado
  • Northside_Mike
      Mike @Northside_Mike

    I thought Walmart employees were striking today? I was looking forward to calling it AWOL-mart all day.

    • 235
    • FAVS
    jumpdasharkcrunchenhancedbeccafacexogreen_babe_jjgrapemartyntantontomw1984yetichips
    • 59
    • RETWEETS
    96bhhgreen_babe_tomw1984CoopSoSarc________ScottBerghornSickayduhIEatChawalQueefTornado
@Northside_Mike

@Northside_Mike

Also known by my stripper name, Tragic Mike.

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