Favstar.fm

How do you reach age 50 and still not understand that when people passing in the hall ask "How are you?" they don't want the long version.

Am I the only person who can't tell the difference between Selma Hayek and Penelope Cruz? Ask yourself: have they ever been seen together?

Doctor's offices: where everybody knows your name (it's on the clipboard) and they're always glad you came (no-shows fuck up the schedule).

Does this raging yeast infection make my ass look yeah on second thought let's just stop talking about it.

You can tell the mafia invented the diabetes diet. If you don't stick to it, you lose a foot. It's great motivation, really.