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I'm a babe in the woods
I don’t actually use your picture for your contact photo. I just use a different picture of me for every contact in my phone.
You don't really miss that person, you're just horny.
I hope you're being unfunny ironically.
You're never alone ( when you're drinking with the internet )
Who the fuck is butch T
Im all sweaty from running outside in circles with my soccer ball.
All I hear is crickets and doom
I told this girl that I killed it when it came my turn to freestyle, she said don't feel bad you aren't black. I don't think she understood
Being paid to exist sounds like a dope job.
If you're watching this tape I guess i'm dead
Glasses still broken, but my sideburns are gone.
Shaving was like meeting my long lost brother. Who was handsome, and also me.
My test for finding psychopaths look for a member of the audience who doesn't look embarrassed uncomfortable at an improv show.
Accidentally kissed Burts like eight times
If we hadn't met but were Internet pals and I picked you up from the airport I wouldn't hold a sign with your name it'd be a picture of me.
She only wants to do it in mercenary position.
I pretty much just miss her boobs