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White girls get pregnant and get their own season of #16andPregnant Black girls get pregnant and get 30 minutes of Maury
Just got a belly piercing. It's a mistletoe, I don't want any confusion on where I want your lips this Christmas.
Hard nipples in public are just as funny as what I call street boners.
The most difficult thing about school is not homework or test but actually giving a fuck.
It's okay everyone. Amy Winehouse was just the last horcrux.
Isn't it nice that soon Justin Bieber will go through puberty, Twilight will end, & Mr.Potter's gone? Everything's going to be normal again
Cops who give tickets to people going 5mph over the limit probably came home one day 5minutes early & caught their wife with 5different men
Fact: Ed Hardy means "douchebag" in 250+ languages.
I think it starts off as 13 and Curious then 14 and Naked after 15 and Oral to 16 and Pregnant.
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on
Marijuana is the gateway drug to a large value meal.
I don't have a drinking problem. My drink has the problem. Always trying to take advantage of me and get me drunk
Mark Zuckerberg won TIME's magazine "Person Of The Year" award? I wonder what mood Tom set on his Myspace after hearing that
#ifsantawasblack you'd hear Waka Flocka playing over your house and the loud bass wouldn't let anyone sleep
Wearing your Skechers Shape Up's to a fast food restaurant is like putting on the condom after you do it, pointless
Turns out that if you link your Facebook with Twitter, Tumblr, and Google+ your computer turns into Voltron.
If you haven't been raptured yet it's probably because at one point in your life you thought crocs were okay to wear.
I heard they're going to sing Christina Aguilera's version of the national anthem at next years Special Olympics.
If you find your self liking those over glittered Ed Hardy clothes, you've reached #douchebagstatus