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Don't believe everything you read on the internet. Remember, if George Washington didn't tweet it, it didn't happen.
When I said I'm a MILF, I meant for the over 18 crowd, folks. Now, run along little high school kids.
I secretly enjoy watching people staring at me and my boyfriend trying to figure out if I'm actually his mom
Does anyone else think of the Duggar mom when they see commercials for pelvic mesh? That's the only thing holding her stuff in place
I've missed Twitter, the one place I can bitch and fit in nicely
Yes, my boyfriend is 23. I see you trying to do the math in your head. Yes, that makes me old enough to be his big sister. Calm down.
Now that I have a boyfriend, Twitter's the best place to bitch about him. How long do I have to wait before he screws shit up?
I can't be the only person that wants to punch a psychic in the face and ask them why they didn't see it coming
12 yr old to me : Mom, what's the useless skin around a vagina called?
Me : I don't know
12 yr old : A woman.
No need for that DNA test
The perfect version of imperfection. A bit obsessed with sports. Atheist. Sarcastic. Smart-ass. MILF Directioner.
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