Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
That moment when your kids catch u on Twitter and you feel like a 12 yr old caught with a dirty magazine. Damn, I hope they don't see my TL
Pretty sure stick figure people on the back of cars is the new Crocs. You're not getting laid, and everyone wants to punch u.
Remember back when your kids actually liked to help with chores? What happened to those days, and can I get a refund or something?
Happy 10 days until my birthday! It's so awesome how many people celebrate it, even letting off fireworks in my honor!
Happy MILF day. I hope you people got me something nice, and by nice, I mean alcohol.
Cinco de Mayo...the day racist Americans against immigration celebrate Mexican pride as an excuse to get drunk. Did I get that right?
When I say I don't like people, I genuinely mean it. If I like you, consider yourself privileged.
Apparently it's frowned upon to bring hash brownies to the PTA meeting even though they specifically asked me to bring a snack.
Now that the Super Bowl is close, does this mean REAL football is around the corner?
You know your life is boring when excitement is getting a good price on new tires.
The perfect version of imperfection. A bit obsessed with sports. Atheist. Sarcastic. Smart-ass. MILF Directioner. Happily rocking the single life.