Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Pillow forts are trending.
200 followers! Does that get me in Twitter Elite?
A free meal at Ruth Chris?
Don't go with the flow. Be like salmon. Swim against the current, mate and then die. Wait. What?
4 hours behind on my TL on a Saturday morning. Can't. Take. This. Pressure!
"I'm confident the kid isn't mine." - The Paternal Optimist
I think my wife is trying to get rid of me. She just sent me to the store for Dijon ketchup
Why are lederhosen only a thing in Germany? Anybody?
♫ There's a lady who's told | all she twitters is gold | and she's climbing the stairway to Favstar ♫
I shine dull like a lump of coal. Maybe I just need to be squeezed more.
Your tweet was the funniest thing I read all day but I won't RT you b/c unfollowed me for some twetiquette violation so fuck off and die.
Argo fuck yourself!
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I tweet,
And miles to go before I tweet.
Things to live for: Twinkies are coming back!
I have a drinking problem:
Twitter is interfering with my drinking.
Sometimes I get to reading the tweets and forget to take a drink.
It's too co-o-old out side for angels to fly.
Wait a minute! So angels are no more omnipotent than American Airlines??
Well...how did I get here? My God..what have I done? Will follow and RT if you make me laugh or think. Not at the same time or my head will explode.