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WHAT IF BEYONCE HAS BEEN ON THE FIELD THE WHOLE TIME AND SHE JUST RIPS HER HELMET OFF AND IS ALL "WHO RUN THE WORLD?!"
Adele really needs to come out with some new music. I'm running out of songs to cry to on the treadmill. :(
My iPhone just corrected "hahahahahaha" to "hahaha" and I was like "yeah, you're right."
Walk up into the club like what up I got a big day tomorrow I should probably go home.
This is BY FAR one of the funniest, most bizarre stand up sets I've ever seen. @chrisdelia at the Laugh Factory in LA. http://t.co/bfa7Muio
My whole life is leading up to the moment I finally get to grimace and say "you two deserve each other."
NICU nurses are carrying patients down 9 flights of stairs but that sounds lovely! RT @cindyhm1: San Diego is gorgeous this time of year!
Horror movie idea: Reese Witherspoon and a chainsaw murderer, titled "Reese's Pieces". Too much? Wait, why are the police here?
Oreos turned 101 today, making them the first centenarians we wanna see double-stuffed.
RT if every once in awhile you're just like "oh yeah thank god Kate Winslet exists."
BREAKING: Kim Kardashian addresses Kanye West rumors; still can't address an envelope.
You will never convince me that Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife aren't the same person.
Kelsey Grammer sure is pretentious for a guy who misspells his own last name.
Look for the girl that orders the strawberries and cream frappucino. She is on a journey we can not yet understand.
The good thing about cheese is that you can melt it and stretch it over your emotions.
Nervous twenty-something. Previously worked for free at LNJF, WMG.
