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@Notmi's (That's NotMyName) most faved Tweets...
Notmi
Due to the economy, I will no longer give it away for free.
@Notmi
Notmi
The door to happiness opens inward. Today I will let it.









Xanax, my butler, will get the door.
@Notmi
16
Blue_CrabeddiditnavanaxBillMc7Toujours_Divaplaid_lemurJarfOmegaanonygirltopnotchtutormuchtycravenheartMrBigFistsYidagoSusAnimatedRockstrNinjaGrlXytrex
Notmi
Some days I'm the dog. Other days I'm the fire hydrant. But for some reason I'm never the bitch who can lick herself.
@Notmi
13
Tony_E_NCSusAnimatedJuliaChildCIAbonisteelnavanaxPartyPanceGo_RV_ingcravenheartMrBigFistsYidagoRockstrNinjaGrlXytrexRainyRivas
Notmi
Accidentally slipped an earring in my second hole. Surprised how easy it was. A bit annoying and painful.

So, guess I'm ready for anal.
@Notmi
12
talks_in_mathsBeef_TonguesarkastickuntDolaniteToy_ATrick_or_tweetcravenheartYidagonavanaxiamjustcaraSusAnimatedXytrex
Notmi
I like to get my cocaine just like most people, from 90% of the American money bills I handle.

Wow, you see how fast I typed that?
@Notmi
11
talks_in_mathsTony_E_NCnavanaxbonisteelPartyPancenyccabgirlcravenheartYidagoSusAnimatedRockstrNinjaGrlXytrex
Notmi
When I feel lost, and all alone, I find myself dropping stars along the blackened path to light the voided footprints and validate my ass.
@Notmi
10
PartyPancenorthpacificoscarvioletTrick_or_tweetnevincraincravenheartYidagonavanaxRockstrNinjaGrlXytrex
Notmi
If you're traveling to a place where the temp is 90 degrees and the humidity is 60%, the dress code is naked with an umbrella drink.
@Notmi
10
Tony_E_NCGizzangstanavanaxoscarvioletTaoistSoulXtremedialuproadtripsterYidagoSusAnimatedXytrex
Notmi
Taking a potty break from my breakfast date. Also Twitter fixing in the stall. I'm a good junkie.
@Notmi
9
talks_in_mathsTony_E_NCnavanaxmonikkabMorrosNihilDeNadaDoanDoDatYidagoiamjustcara
Notmi
Peeing is so beneath me.
@Notmi
8
Tony_E_NCtalks_in_mathsIForgetWht8Was4LisaG732GizzangstanavanaxtopnotchtutorYidago
Notmi
THAT heart attack brought to you by the DVR suddenly UN-pausing.
@Notmi
7
talks_in_mathsafoolishwitvikoninavanaxYidagoMrBigFistsRockstrNinjaGrl
Notmi
That was a why the hell are we awake kick from my inner child. The little bitch is tired of hanging upside down off the balcony. Kids!
@Notmi
7
Mela_DeTheNameIsFredNihilDeNadaTrick_or_tweetMrBigFistsnavanaxYidago
Notmi
Covering up the zombie portion of the weekend with a little bronzer.
@Notmi
7
bonisteellinajkNihilDeNadatopnotchtutorTrick_or_tweetYidagonavanax
Notmi
Quick, tell me again, after the fun and before the games or before the fun and after SHIT, there goes an eye. Nevermind.
@Notmi
6
afoolishwittalks_in_mathsRockstrNinjaGrlTrick_or_tweetgalaxychrisXytrex
Notmi
Everytime I get up I get cold, which leads me to conclude that I'm hot when I get down.
@Notmi
6
SusAnimatedvikoninavanaxToujours_DivaStillDrewiamnotdiddy
Notmi
This stupid poll about the state of the American woman being more powerful but less happy, makes me wanna shoot myself in the man.
@Notmi
6
bonisteelSusAnimatednavanaxlinajkDoanDoDatTrick_or_tweet
Notmi
You had me at let's.
@Notmi
6
LisaG732Girl11ElevenvikoniYidagoMrBigFistsnavanax
Notmi
Not sure if eyelids are heavy from natural pull of gravity or unnatural pull of too much mastubation. Then there's those cute little pills.
@Notmi
6
talks_in_mathsTony_E_NCnavanaxtherealcherilynOFeelYahYidago
Notmi
No need to ovary compensate.
@Notmi
6
talks_in_mathsGizzangstanavanaxPartyPancemuchtyYidago
Notmi
Sunday, you bitch How dare you dangle Monday at me like some slimy decrepit sole of a diabetic fishermans boot you dug up from your outhouse
@Notmi
6
navanaxlinajktopnotchtutorcarrmahMela_DeYidago
Notmi
"Dyslexics are teople poo." Sharing one of the funniest shirts I've seen in ages.
@Notmi
6
Tony_E_NCnavanaxvinnieRainyRivasPartyPanceYidago
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